Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Move over Sam Adams, Horlicks is here.

Alpha accuses me of writing about my hubby way too much in my blogs (The fact that her's is a blog mostly dedicated to Pi-bashing is conveniently forgotten). I tell her that until I have a dog or a cat as a pet or maybe a baby of my own or my life takes an interesting turn and I give up my desk-job and turn into some adventure-monkey, the hubby will be my primary victim.
I catch a cold. 7 days later, I’m good as new. Then hubby catches it. We’re on day 3.
He: It’s really bad. I think I need to see a doctor.
Me: It’s a cold. It’ll go away.
He: No, it’s really bad. It just doesn’t seem to go.
Me: You’re on day 3.
He: But it’s just not getting any better. I better see someone.
Me: Please?
He: A doctor.
Me: Please.

He: She said it could be a sinus infection.
Me: Your sinuses are infected. You have a cold.
He: No, a Sinus Infection. She gave me something for it.
Me: It’s Tylenol.
He: “Tylenol Sinus.”
Me: No shit!
He: 'If you can keep your head, when all around are losing theirs..'
Me: blah blah blah

I humored him...but it did go away by the end of the week.

Hubby has taken to drinking Horlicks at night. Yes, Horlicks (The Great Family Nourisher of India that usually kids below the age of 10 drink). And I make it for him. People who know me know I am NOT the kind who mixes health drinks for family members who are not sick however much they might mean to me. But the practice sneaked up to me when I wanted to rinse out a bottle with just 3 spoons of Horlicks in it, so I could paint on it (Don't ask, I'll save that one for another rainy day on the blog when there's nothing happening). So I mixed it in milk and got him to drink it. (He can drink a LOT). Unfortunately a full bottle replaced this the following week and I confess I did make it again as I longed to try a cuppa myself, but it din't really take. So I hoped this chore would transition to the rightful hands soon enough. Last night:

He: (walking into kitchen and standing around vaguely) This Horlicks at night is really good.
Me: *Furiously rearranging photos on Picasa and emailing people* Yes? Making a cup?
He: Hmmm. *taking a sip of water*. I could make it myself if you are busy.
Me: *Blow a kiss* (Come on, that's universal language for "Thank you Sweetie, you're the best, please go ahead)
He: *Poised with water glass in mid-air, waiting*
Me: *Blow another kiss* (Universal language for "Go on now. Why are we waiting?")
He: It's cool. Finish your emailing. Actually I think later is better.

Is this his second childhood or had he never passed out of the first one?!! Should I be worrying about the fact that he drinks Horlicks or the fact that I see many years of Horlicks-making in front of me?


Blogger alpha said...

LIAR!!! I NEVER ACCUSED YOU!!! I just picked on you. It's fun when you write abt him. So stop being defensive (hope I got the word right) Write what you want deary!

As long as he doesn't come down to breast milk, I think you guys are doing OK.

11:44 AM  
Blogger alpha said...

hmm..why do I have a nagging feeling that you are the one who traumatized me with random comments and got me to delete the post...hmmm...need more proof.

11:46 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Who will believe you don't accuse me when you move on to do just that?!! LOL!! OK wait a min, I'm hurt. I just call you a 4 letter word that was stretched to 10 and then point out diff between speaker and headphone. & this is what I get. Go away! In fact I knew you would suspect me as the story was poking fun of me. I was relieved to see you did not think that but this leopard is not changing her spots I see. Boo Hoo! Go away!

11:59 AM  
Anonymous alpha said...

poking fun? I called you beautiful, enthusiastic, big hmm eyed... what more does one expect from a leaopard?!

zaalim duniya!

12:15 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Zaalim indeed! I can't remember the article properly now, but you said my lipstick is sticky. Anybody would mind that! LOL! Put it back!

12:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was funny. My husband drinks Horllicks too!!!

by the by, new post up.


12:29 PM  
Anonymous Sqrl?NT said...

hehehe...Bournvita is something I LOVE .havent really given Horlicks much thought...unfortunately I dont have a hubby yet..(wait, make that fortunately:))..till then, I will have to make these things myself..and for myself..

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Ash said...

Worry about both !!

But boy, do I agree, guys become really crankiepoos when they're feeling the teensy weensy bit sick.

But your hubby sounds too cute yaar !

5:42 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Shoba - Thanks girl. I need to know we're not moving backwards in time here. Will check out your post now...

Sqrl/NT - (Love the name) & Bournvita! I used to love that as a kid. Always had it with a straw though (hated the froth on the top)...hope your boyfriend is the health-drink kinda person too..else no sweat, just blog about it! & thanks for putting me on your linked list!

Ash - Men ARE babies when they're sick. I bet even Superman whines, but my hubby takes the cake in this I tell you, he can be VERY melodramatic... & you just made his day! :)

8:36 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

Hehehe!! Do keep writing about your hubby. Makes me feel better to know I am not alone. There are others too who have big babies at home.

10:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My mother made my father, brother and me drink Horlicks every night. I did it for 25 years before I could say NO. Now I drink Bournvita.
I big girl now.

12:30 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Actually, your husband sounds pretty typical when it comes to guys being sick. Love the way you wrote this up - you had me chuckling for sure. What I love is when I'm right in the middle of typing out some genius (as if) post and THE MAN stands in the doorway saying "I wonder if "we" should start supper soon." I'll just look up and ask "oh, are "we" hungry?"
Guys - ya gotta love em.

3:00 AM  
Blogger shub said...

absolutely true!! maan,....guys jus cry out loud for attention at teh slightest hint of a cold!!

but horlicks...blechhhhhhh!
i never liked it!
reminded me of hospitals! :)

4:47 AM  
Blogger Patrix said...

a bunch of 'desperate' housewives...bitching about their dear husbands...tsk tsk.

Alpha, why did you have to mention that breast milk thingie (LOVL..v=very) the visuals refuse to get out of my head.

6:57 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Anumita - I plan to! It's good material that keeps refreshing itself :)

Toinks - Good to see the growth! You are indeed moving forward and away! So 25 years is what's needed to take that "big" step hahn?

Weary - LOL! Imagine the situation though if they did try "You" instead of the oft-used "We"? That would make "Us" go to bed hungry alright, no supper EVER! :)

7:33 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Shub - I agree! Even that chocolate Horlicks they came out with, sucked. Now I watch spoonfuls of it dissolve as I stir it into warm milk EVERYDAY! I can smell it too. Help!

Patrix - I bet you will turn Horlicks drinker. You just fit that profile man, you do. Alpha's comment did that to me too. Who are the stars in your visual (as both hubby and I are faceless to you)? It would be interesting to know :) Now replace visual with that of you getting some work done. Oops that brought visual of me getting some work done.... :(

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Men are babies when they fall ill. Sinus Infection is so serious?

10:32 AM  
Anonymous HiredGun said...

First it is the Horlicks. Then comes foot massages. :-)

Bournvita is the best. Horlicks is to be only used for a great icecream shake. (That is where the name "malted" comes from).

2:03 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

No way hiredgun! In fact we have the foot massages in place in reverse order already!
*pause to pat myself on the back*

Actually pretty good ones too. Though I strongly suspect he gives them only becos then he can ration my spa-trips..

This Horlicks has Elaichi in it, so pretty much kills all it's usefulness in my opinion.

3:29 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

btw hiredgun - i liked your "I din't change anything" but can't seem to find a place to comment?

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't help commenting. Have you watched the Anil-Madhuri movie Beta. The movie clearly demonstrates that the actress Kunika is a vamp. How - She has her husband give her foot massages. Shudder!! Shudder!! Kya ho gaya hai aajkal ke launda-laundis ko!!


7:03 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Hee Hee! Gabby is the vamp Kunika in Zoheb's head henceforth :) I love it! Vamps have their feet rubbed while the 'heroines' are working so hard heaving those breasts and what not...
Wake up and smell the perfume...aajkal ke laundis rather be the vamps!

8:29 PM  
Anonymous HiredGun said...

gratisgab -- didn't understand what you meant in your second comment. Sorry my comprehension is dropping -- must lay off on all that Bournvita and switch to Horlicks.

10:41 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

hiredgun - Well i visited your blog and was randomly clicking around. saw the tidbit on "i din't change anything" (and hence everything should be working the same, right? programmers blaming an app problem to software change...) and found it hilarious. But there's no comment box, but there, I just told you!

7:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gabby dear..methinks that is not his blog. Hiredgun's i mean. I think he just got a meaning for his name off the web using someone else's site. I saw the guy's picture. Doesn't look like a Bournvita drinking chap one bit.

7:40 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Ok that's funny...cos he uses that blog while commenting..hmmm, a whole new kind of identity theft. We should notify Patrix, he'll give it some validity by using the right names and stuff.

9:50 AM  
Blogger Winged Umai said...

hahah Should I be glad that my hubby does not come anywhere near milk unless it is served cold with cornflakes... LOLOL

10:02 AM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

Given the fact that my hubby also steers clear of milk... it makes my life more easy... buhahahah

10:04 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Rediscoverer - Good for ya! Are you laughing at my fate or my write-up? :)

Pallavi - Ok so you lucky...but some help here please..anybody have any ideas on how lactose intolerance can be developed?

10:27 AM  
Anonymous HiredGun said...

Alpha is right, not my website. Just a link to the definition of my name -- don't want folks to think that I am still with the mafia. I swore off that when Tony Soprano finally fired me.

BTW, the website belongs to one Eric S. Raymond, a very prominent and respected member of the Open Source Movement.

11:31 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

So it does! Hey maybe you should have let me think I was having Eric S. Raymond visit! I was gonna post about my love for Linux one of these days anyway...

Thanks for clarifying...

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ESR is a prominent member of the Open Source Movement, but not respected at all. He is a big potty mouth, and has barely written any software. He is also famous for hijacking the Hacker's dictionary.


12:59 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Omigod I'm learning so much. Really? With my limited fundaes I hold all members of the Open Source Movement in awe. I thought anyone involved HAD to be cool...he hijacked the Hacker's dictionary? I'm intrigued...have to do some serious googling on this. And start paying attention when the hubby and his croonies go on and on and on...

1:25 PM  
Anonymous HiredGun said...

Yup, ESR is controversial. Check the latter half of his bio at:

2:58 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

I can't get over this...Such a Cool movement, changing the world (and my own life, no exaggerations, if there was a temple for Linux I would be the priest), HOW can there be potty-mouths in there?!!

Well I guess it's like priests turning out to be molesters I guess, I need to snap out of it.

I save so much money by being my own shrink, I should be a millionaire by now!

3:28 PM  
Anonymous SomeDude said...

Here's a bunch of info on ESR...

4:37 PM  
Blogger Ashwin said...

I absolutely love Horlicks too! :D. mabbe your husband and I are "bichde huye bhai" or something!! :P

4:47 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Thanks dude...I've had my fill of disillusionment for the day...have to look for new heroes to worship...any non-potty-mouthed George Clooney-like whiz open source programmers out there? (might as well pick a good looking one)

Ashwin - My bichde huye b-i-l, pehle bhabhi ko pranam karo, uske baad please take over Horlicks duties for bade bhaiya! Hee hee, not the solution I expected but blogging about this is solving my problems!

8:35 PM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

I can't help writing this, but I get a feeling that most gurlz love their hubbies to be dependent on them. That is why your horlicks-drinker kiddo of a husband is still so dear to your heart because you indirectly are happy that he is so. He he he... talk of going to a man's heart by his stomach!! :)

8:44 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Aaaaagrh Sudipta! That's what the hubby said too! "You're actually enjoying this" was his line...No, no, no! I've made my way to the heart part now trying to get out of the stomach!

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is my first time here. I liked your piece on pill abuse.


5:45 PM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Aaaaagrh Sudipta! That's what the hubby said too! "You're actually enjoying this" was his line...No, no, no! I've made my way to the heart part now trying to get out of the stomach!

Hee hee... great men think alike!

12:44 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

passer-by - thanks..pass by again!

Sudipta - "If everyone is thinking alike, it means nobody is thinking very much" :)

7:30 AM  
Blogger AmitL said... Horlicks such a good go-get'her'?:)*seriously contemplates searching for a pack of the stuff,today evening.*Waiting for the rainy day blog post on rinsing out bottles.:)And,a big LOL at Alpha's comment on breast milk.

8:48 PM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

well I started having horlicks only recently.. it was always bourvita in my "pre-college" years.. then no milk in college.. (bad habits of hostel life) n now horlicks at times..
BTW u dont have to make it for hubby dear all the time, nahi.. ;-)

and ALPHA! breast milk?? gosh.. same reaction as patrix :).. but no visuals please.. :)

3:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stuck on the title - what's the Sam Adams connection?

*Scratchy head*

3:40 AM  
Blogger sanguine said...

ya ya .. so true ..
my husband is worse yaar, he gets all these horrific diseases the moment they are introduced in the market seasonally ..that is he believes that he has got them..
jaundice, aids , dropsy etc.. i remember he was convinced that he even had anthrax , when it ws introduced. he is so paranoid , & god forbid when he sits with my doctor brother… all the bugs just bite him then LOL

*sorry this was a big comment

5:28 AM  
Blogger phatichar said...

Husbands never grow up. Take it from me. Horlicks might get replaced by something else, but...husbands never grow up. Period. :)

6:37 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Amit - Rainy day post will be slightly more interesting than rinsing out bottles, it will be about painting on the runsed out bottles :) LOL

T.Fairy - Lots of Bournvita fans out there t'seems! Nahi re, he makes it too, just cribbing for kicks.

Anon - Sam Adams is hubby's favorite bear...I'm figuring as he's come full circle to Horlicks, beer days might be numbered. But they're not! I guess he's going to a fan of all "malt" beverages! :)

12:04 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

sanguine - Omigod! your's beats mine hollow. my sympathies girl...! get doc brother to do an all-over-physical for him and convince him of the supreme state of his health!

Phatichar - thanks for the info - so basically we're stuck with a first-born/hubby!!!

12:08 PM  
Blogger phatichar said...


9:02 PM  
Blogger Prerona said...

maybe you should switch him to beer - no making to do ;0)

as long as u keep writing i dont care who about. when do we get to see those photos u were busy arranging?

1:22 AM  
Blogger . : A : . said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting. Look forward to having you back.

4:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aaah So!!! The guy actually foresook his beer for Horlicks!!! Ugh!!!!! He certainly needs his health check, honey.

7:28 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Ricercar - Beer was/is his water...the man's capacity to hold his beer is diminishing though....too much milk in there :)! blogger remember?

.:a:. - Dude, what's with the name? IT's like Braille almost!

Anon - I was scheduling one but last night he was emptying the bottom half of the frdge so he could stack up looks like he's going to manage both the "mals" for now...:) Btw, what's with the Anon, leave your name!

8:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was reading all these comments and found this hilarious:
"I save so much money by being my own shrink, I should be a millionaire by now!"


12:44 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Shame on All ye Horlicks Hating Hubby Bashers! As of today I am launching a new movement! Pi and Mr.Gabby can lead it, while I shall take up a honorary position in the background! And we shall ask Smithkline Beecham to endorse us! And we shall endorse Horlicks, though that would mean that I shall have to lose the "Complan Boy" tag. But that is one small sacrifice that I'd gladly make for the cause.

8:32 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Peeyenge Peeyenge... Hum Horlicks Peeyenge. Soyenge Soyenge, kursi par soyenge.. Rokho Rokho... Yeh brashtachaar rokho... Pathni log, haai haai! Pathni log haai haai!

8:34 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

anti - do i know you? i have a feeling i do.

hey Complan boy, chill...seems like all these health drinks are making you all grow big and tall (as they promise) but are not helping with the "grey" stuff ! LOL! If Pi, Mr.gabby and you are going to be heading this, there is nothing to worry about. Ya'll will drink your Horlicks and fall asleep watching TV...the Pathni log are unperturbed!

9:45 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Gabby: I dont know if I know you! And if that question was directed cos it seemed as if I acted as if I know you, then I don't know!

And I don't know if you know me.. I only know you as Gabby, Lalithaji's chum and I meant no offense by that call for arms :(

6:03 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

anti - ok that's clear enuf, you don't know me :-)

no offense taken!

6:32 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Hmmm, now that you know that I don't know you.. Don't you think I should know you and Shldn't you know me?

1:47 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

anti - I think we are okay as we are. :)

7:10 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Totally okay!

8:38 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...


9:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see that you all are always chatting and ranting away about nonsense stuff. Don't you have any constructive work to do?

4:55 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

I rant. You go thru my archives and read my rants. And then leave comments. How pathetic are you! LOL!

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey... I just love Horlicks. My entire family drinks Horlicks every night. BTW, my son's doctor told me yesterday that apparently Horlicks has done some clinical research which proves that it improves children's concentration. Wow !
BTW, must admit that when I drink Horlicks at night, my wife ends up being very happy ! ;-)

8:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

come march, and you can change the target of your blogs, eh?


ess bee

10:34 AM  
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10:12 PM  

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