I can stop whenever I want, really.

Last year I underwent surgery. It was a really small procedure and some of my friends even had the audacity of calling it plastic surgery. I have problems with that statement as firstly, it was not even cosmetic surgery and secondly it makes me out to be one of those Nip-Tuck wannabes...maybe I will be one someday but I like to think that that day is still very, very far away and I'll like to think that when the time comes I will have the good sense to steer away from that option...Well anyway, it was on my arm and I was sent home with a month's supply of Oxycodine. I was told to take two a day and more if it hurt. Now I'm known to pop a Tylenol in when I have a headache and a looming deadline or I need to play gracious hostess at dinner and I'm actually feeling my brain will split open and a Hannibal-style dinner could follow, but the pill-love ends there. So being told to take something as strong as Oxycodine twice a day was a bit rattling. I decided to taper off the usage as soon as possible. The plan was to stop after three days or maybe even two if things went well. Ten days after my surgery I was sad when I found out that I needed at least one pill a day to help me feel a hundred-percent. I was even sadder when I found myself using phrases like 'feeling a hundred percent'. When even the 1.5 inch scar began to fade and I still felt a need to dull the pain, my husband woke me up and stuck my head in the beans till I smelt the coffee. I'm proud to say I did not need him to lock away my meds or check me into Oxycodine-Anonymous. I just went cold turkey and a few days later went right back to hating the pill-popping types.

But this episode woke me up to how easy it all was. It is not just something that happens on TV and movies and Hollywood. It can happen to any of us, to the best of us. It can happen to people with brains and commonsense and principles. It can creep in while you're sleeping it off in a recovery room after surgery or in a slightly wilder-than-usual after-party-party or even when perfectly normal people are subjected to more than they can handle... it can happen to friends and family and even people who seem so strong.

Last month I started blogging and it's a whole new addiction now! This month I no longer check blogsites and comment boxes like a maniac...but I go down my list of favorite blogs first thing in the morning. At least it doesn't muck with any biochemical reaction going on inside me. I still need my dose, it's just a healthier high.

So now I'm the niptuck female who almost-went-to-rehab to my childhood pals on one particular email-list. According to one of them I should move to LA. I'm working on an Excel sheet that lists each of their deep-dark-deeds in descending order of the embarrassment it will cause. It will be sent out very soon. :-)