Friday, March 11, 2005

I can stop whenever I want, really.

Last year I underwent surgery. It was a really small procedure and some of my friends even had the audacity of calling it plastic surgery. I have problems with that statement as firstly, it was not even cosmetic surgery and secondly it makes me out to be one of those Nip-Tuck wannabes...maybe I will be one someday but I like to think that that day is still very, very far away and I'll like to think that when the time comes I will have the good sense to steer away from that option...Well anyway, it was on my arm and I was sent home with a month's supply of Oxycodine. I was told to take two a day and more if it hurt. Now I'm known to pop a Tylenol in when I have a headache and a looming deadline or I need to play gracious hostess at dinner and I'm actually feeling my brain will split open and a Hannibal-style dinner could follow, but the pill-love ends there. So being told to take something as strong as Oxycodine twice a day was a bit rattling. I decided to taper off the usage as soon as possible. The plan was to stop after three days or maybe even two if things went well. Ten days after my surgery I was sad when I found out that I needed at least one pill a day to help me feel a hundred-percent. I was even sadder when I found myself using phrases like 'feeling a hundred percent'. When even the 1.5 inch scar began to fade and I still felt a need to dull the pain, my husband woke me up and stuck my head in the beans till I smelt the coffee. I'm proud to say I did not need him to lock away my meds or check me into Oxycodine-Anonymous. I just went cold turkey and a few days later went right back to hating the pill-popping types.

But this episode woke me up to how easy it all was. It is not just something that happens on TV and movies and Hollywood. It can happen to any of us, to the best of us. It can happen to people with brains and commonsense and principles. It can creep in while you're sleeping it off in a recovery room after surgery or in a slightly wilder-than-usual after-party-party or even when perfectly normal people are subjected to more than they can handle... it can happen to friends and family and even people who seem so strong.

Last month I started blogging and it's a whole new addiction now! This month I no longer check blogsites and comment boxes like a maniac...but I go down my list of favorite blogs first thing in the morning. At least it doesn't muck with any biochemical reaction going on inside me. I still need my dose, it's just a healthier high.

So now I'm the niptuck female who almost-went-to-rehab to my childhood pals on one particular email-list. According to one of them I should move to LA. I'm working on an Excel sheet that lists each of their deep-dark-deeds in descending order of the embarrassment it will cause. It will be sent out very soon. :-)

12 Comments:

Blogger The Observer said...

Hi,Gratisgrab.I guess pills are the easy way out,but,in the rat race,they sometimes become a reality.Good to see that u broke away from the habit..a dose of favourite blogs everyday,is much better than any medicine,I guess.:)

7:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So whatkind of arm surgery was it ?

3:06 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

Ah! Talk of addictions! Glad you stopped, really!

4:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ten days of painkillers after a surgery does not an addiction make. you scare easily. you want to hear about addictions, come to me.

10:54 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Hiya..

Observer, you observe correctly! I'm glad I'm out of it too...:-)

Anonymous, I was involved in a shooting and a bullet was wedged in my elbow bone, they had to saw it out. Kidding!!! It was something like a mole I guess.

Anumita, The Ah! makes me think you have a story of your own to tell?

Anonymous again (?), so my stint at being an addict does not impress you? You say "come to me" and prefer to remain anonymous..so who's the scared one here ?? I think it's wise to scare easily while dealing with stuff like medication and addictions. It's called being cautious!

4:20 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

You are SOOOO right about how easy it is to become addicted to a substance. Not for nothing but to correct that last anonymous comment... addiction does NOT have to do with "time" it has to do with "need" and it most certainly can set in after a few doses of pills.
Your writing style is comfy and conversational. Love it!
I'll be back frequently.

Carol

5:36 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

I agree Carol! I think recognizing the fact that your sense of well-being now depends on that stuff is the important thing...the dependence can settle in at any time.

Thanks much! And do drop by!

1:50 PM  
Anonymous herhighness said...

Hey, nice posts,

I could so relate to your post of March 04.

8:44 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Thank you Your Highness...what's up, you don't write anymore on your blog?

11:44 AM  
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