Friday, August 26, 2005

Hunters

Isn’t it great that a hunter doesn’t have to negotiate with the prey? Imagine proposals going between hunter and prey, offers being rejected, and counter-offers being made.

“An arm and a leg”
“An arm and a leg and your meaty behind”
“There’s no other prey around, I’m the meatiest in your range, take it or leave it”.


Instead, you corner the prey and it’s yours. No mind games, just winning or losing. Now imagine two hunters. Easier to spot a prey and quicker results! Assuming of course both hunters prefer the same kind of meat. And that brings me to the beginning of today’s rant.

We are house-hunting. And that is a great word for it, because the stalking, spotting, chasing and pinning down which is the natural process of procuring a house is akin to actually hunting for prey. And the hunters here prefer very different kinds of meat. In fact, one is a vegetarian and gets preoccupied with fruit picking every time they are hot on a chase, much to the annoyance of the other. One had been raised in a city, and is hence crazy for wide spaces with big trees, while the other actually grew up surrounded in acres of tree-filled gardens and in some senses might have had enough of it. One hunts for project-potential. His eyes glint at the prospect of tearing down the kill and preparing a dish that is all his, very noble thought but time-taking and slightly risky. His fingers itch to line up all his tools and toys and get to work on every part of the prey, an endeavor that might well take more than a couple of years, that will require unrelenting dedication and patience. The vegetarian looks for a quick, nicely prepared green salad with the parmesan already sprinkled on top and a silver spoon on a napkin on the side. She will be able to have her salad right after buying it. All crisp and fresh it will be! In all fairness, she is not very concerned about where the greens came from, whether it will be a good crop every year, whether future crops will get the support they need, whether it will be a well watered field and least of all whether the drainage is public or private. She accepts that these are important, but they don’t govern her every waking moment.

But they set out hunting together every weekend and sometimes during the week too. Sniffing around. They have a referee with them, who gets a portion of the kill when we are done with this chase. But the referee is not my friend - as I am reminded every so often by my fellow hunter. Along with a warning to never fall in love with the prey. All is lost if that happens he says, we don’t want the prey strutting around knowing your heart beats for it. But I am afraid he did not pay heed to his own warning. And I think the man is in love, though he protests and denies. So I am just glad that he usually falls for something only for the good reasons. We will hopefully get lucky and have some great meat, with the salad as a side too. Ah, that would make a good meal and I sure have built up an appetite for it. But for now, we continue to cross our fingers and sniff the air.

38 Comments:

Blogger Rhyncus said...

Umm, are we invited to the ritual consuming of the prey? The warming of the house, even?

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Is this house also one of the miniature oh-so-cute types. Will the house warming happen in a microwave oven?

2:13 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Happy House Hunting :)

2:25 PM  
Blogger alpha said...

haha at Zoheb!

Girly girl... you people around me are driving me nuts with house hunting!!!! Mera ghar kab ayega?..miniature hi sahi! First I think passing exam is in order.

2:28 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

rhyncus - sure! we can all dance around the fireplace, war cries et al :)...somehow, the post turned tribal!

zoheb bhai - Now if only I would be as happy with a mini-house! Mr.Gabby would get down on his knees and thank the Lord :)...No baby, no doll houses for me, I want a BIG house!

PS: Would you fit in a microwave oven? I always imagine you as on the plump side :)

Anti - Say "Good Luck" instead na...need all the luck we can get!

2:33 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

alpha - You are ALWAYS online. Go study! You want miniature, buy Lakshmi's house *wicked grin*

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Suspecting said...

Meaty behind?
Gratis, I think you have a fishy mind.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Alphaji Haha ka haahaakar machaa diya hai tumne.
Gabby, when you told me that you imagined me to be plump, I had no idea it was with the intention of introducing me into an oven. Now you remind me of Hannibal inviting friends over for dinner. Please to be understanding when I don't turn up for the house warming.

2:47 PM  
Blogger alpha said...

Lakshmi who? and Lakshmi why? methinks you are too hazzled by this house hunting or I am with this exam studying. either ways, please explain 'wicked grin' to dim witted soul who came online only now.

2:49 PM  
Blogger alpha said...

zoheb: she specifically mentions she is vegetarian. Maybe she is after your 'pea' sized brain.

2:51 PM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Sabhi log mera hi kyo dimaag khaate hai :-(

2:52 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Zo - Your idea, not mine. If I wanted to go Hannibal style, I would prefer you sitting on the stove. Microwaves can muck with the flavour at times! :D

Yaaack! Horrible...weird taste...!! Stop!

alpha - Arre woi...those friends of yours from college days...little ones with a BIG dog...

Note people - I am in no way making any reference to the "little people" as they are known.

2:56 PM  
Blogger alpha said...

Yes, I agree. That be the only Lakshmi we both know. I believe Goddess of wealth goes by that name too. My imagination did run very wild to conjure up imagines of Lakshmi and a house..but miniature? ohhh..the 'little people' I get it now! Phew!

Zoheb sitting on a stove top is a nice image to sleep with.

3:02 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

suspecting - Whaaat? Meat? Fish? Shiva-shiva! I'm a vegetarian :)

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Ash said...

Good luck , Gabby ! Hope you're making sure there are nice guestrooms for your dear blog friends, who read every post, and always comment, and have never been to Boston ?

:)

Naah, jokes aside, have fun with ur househunt ... it must be fun to view houses and let your imagination run wild exploring its potential, na ?

3:52 PM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

thats why i chose one when there was only one hunter :).. for now I'm enjoying my succulent meal..when another hunter comes along, we would look for another 'meal' perhaps :)

4:45 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

ash - I am making sure...plenty of space for the blogger-meets guaranteed (The plump ones go in the kitchen anyway!)! Bed and breakfast on the house :)...The whole thing is mighty fun actually. The mind's a-spinning!.

T-fairy - You smart, smart woman! But you just wait my dear when you go looking for your next meal, it will be an all new ball game and THEN Gabby will come to mind. Feel free to let me know, so I can give extra-unwarranted advice :)

6:57 PM  
Blogger MD said...

House hunting in Boston is akin to torture. I've given up - I plan on pitching a tent in the Public Gardens...

Sorry about not checking in lately, work is rush, rush, rush, busy ;)

9:04 PM  
Blogger KJ said...

ALL THE BEST.

Do let us know when is the "ghar garam karne wala din".

:-))

2:38 AM  
Anonymous ?! said...

(Tangential)
Was singin a song over in my head when I read this ... and got stuck at " hamare ghar na aayegi/kabhi khushi udhaar ki" ... sigh, from the house to the TV, everything is on the instalments!

8:35 AM  
Blogger Rash said...

all this talk of meat and someone calls herself a vegetarian!

Loads of luck to you hunters. :)

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

I have been fattened up and placed on the stove top already. Time for me to sneak off before the stove gets too hot.....

5:46 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

All the best for the house hunting. Am sure you ll get your mega sized abode, where you ll have a huge dining room with a mega sized dining table on which will be placed succulently cooked meat and nutritious salads. Slurp!!!

11:39 PM  
Blogger AmitL said...

Good luck for house hunting.:)And,do see the movie'Duplex',if u haven't seen it so far..it's a typical case of the hunter becoming the hunted.

11:51 PM  
Blogger WA said...

The one person I can't stand in this game is the referee! And as you say never fall in love with the prey until you know its yours :) Good Luck. And can I come along too for the dancing around the fireplace and the warcry dance please!

6:19 AM  
Anonymous vs said...

i could’ve taken some pointers from this post, but dis comes in a bit late… one is already in the middle of the dance … completely in love with de prey (hav to simbly close me eyes and i get the visual of my living room overlooking the Hudson, night-time view of the skyline, lil kitchenette that will rarely be used….a teeny-weeny bedroom to create memories in ….. ladies and gentlemen i am in the middle of a bid-war !! with all my fingers and toes crossed :)

goodluck with u’r prey!! (a word of advise NEVER ever fall too much in love with the house that you just can’t let it go :))

8:18 AM  
Blogger Akruti said...

Gabby,u on a hunt?? and why did u not see the "House for rent" board in front of my house then?? Bhuhahahaha,u a veggie?? and u say shiva shiva? hmm,He is a non veggie by the way,how abt saying something new;) and happy house hunting,do let us know the details of it all soon,Keep away from the referee.

8:21 AM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

Yeah sure..:) but I doubt you would be able to help me select an 'Indian' meal..whilst you eat a MacD :p

11:48 AM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

Oh blimey.. I am going down the same path... I am dreading it ...

12:35 AM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Hmm... and I guess the referee is the one who is smiling all the time, eh? Good innovative way of looking at this :)

2:24 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

md - not a bad idea actually :)...at least till winter. And please, your work impresses me no end...solve those medical mysteries before you come read my ramblings..

kj - will do. will do...:)

?! - Word of advice...finish the tv pendings before you hit the house one...this one is crazy.

rash - i'm a vegetarian but i think of meat as i hunt so much. i hunt for my glasses after i take off my contacts at the end of the day, i hunt for 'my page' in every book i'm reading (i don't use bookmarks), i hunt for 'that top' everytime we need to go out and we're running late....

zoheb - what u saying? you're done *burp* already!

Anumita - Speaking from memory baby? Isn't that what your hard-working man got ya? :)

Amitl - Nope. Will check it out....Jeez please no talk of ghosts though ok?

7:50 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

wicked angel - sure! we'll have things besides Zoheb on the menu...something for everyone :)

vs - you poor thing! hang in there with the bid-war and GOOD LUCK to ya! Let us know when you start your little war-dance of victory!

akruti - "House on Sale" would be more tempting...all the money we pour into rent is depressing! So you have enough property to rent out? Man, we're coming from different places honey...

T.Fairy - Maybe my Mom can help you. Remember she is better at the Dr.Phil stuff anyway...

Pallavi - Real estate in Bangalore is no joke. Hang in there and good luck!

Sudipta - Yes, that's the one alright...don't know how they do it. It's no fun actually.

7:59 AM  
Blogger thennavan said...

HHH

Happy House Hunting

:-)

10:19 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Thanks Thennavan...the Happy part is what is quickly forgotten in the midst of all the dealings..:)

11:25 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Another classic post! Much luck to you on the house hunting... I get a kick out of your thought process.

12:28 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Thanks Carol! Things are getting warm but there's still so much to do...will keep my readers updated. I like your new picture by the way. It's really nice.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous burf said...

gud, u used word-verification tech.

now abt the post

somehow i feel that some lines in between had huge sexual connotations... am i a gud decoder? :D

8:02 AM  
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10:20 PM  

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