Monday, May 09, 2005

Winding through Life

We were on a scenic highway in California. It was one of those beautiful, long, winding paid highways that takes you to US 101, through the Redwoods, with trees that meet overhead. The morning sunlight filtered through the leaves casting crazy patterns on the road, giving everything a fresh and ethereal quality. Yes, this had the makings of a perfect first date alright. My mind kept dwelling on food though. The coffee we had stopped for at Starbucks before we got onto this long winding part of the trip sloshed around in my empty stomach. I needed food but had been a little embarrassed to ask for it as we had not hit that level of comfort yet....Yes, I am a girl who loves her breakfast but I can be annoyingly girlie at times. I also hadn’t a clue that the long and winding was this long, or this winding. And as the morning progressed, my food thoughts intensified to shrieking heights. Till we hit the REALLY winding part at which point the immense love for food I was experiencing was replaced by a loathing. The kind of loathing that can happen only just before you HURL! I pointed at the first clearing I could see, my date brought the car to a screeching halt, and I leaped out of the rental car and puked my guts out. I can only guess at what his thoughts were as he stood at a distance with a box of napkins, wringing his hands. No doubt wondering how this carefully planned day was off to such a ‘hurling’ start. Mine were abundantly clear though. “I need food; he seems to run on coffee. This is a sign. This will NEVER work.” Yes, I threw up on our first ‘official’ date, 6 times to be accurate.

Saturday morning I stood in the kitchen. I opened and reopened the refrigerator door. The eggs were there, so was the bread. I just needed to put it together. I even eyed the dosa pan, thinking of the process. My faculties weren’t so readily accessible to me. So I just stood there. The hubby walked into the kitchen, looked at me and went “You need food.” 10 minutes later we were on our way to Chennai Woodlands. Needless to say we had partied long and strong the previous night and warm food that had been prepared by someone else, brought to me and served, was in order. I munched on the plain dosa (crepe-like wafer-thin pancakes) while my idlis (fermented rice cakes) soaked in gorgeous sambhar (spicy lentil soup kinda thing). Till they hit that saturated, crumbling point when they were scooped up and sent for a quick dip in the chutney pool. I even had the stomach for a masala dosa after this. The hubby sat there nursing his coffee, nibbling on something quite halfheartedly. I think he was experiencing the now familiar feeling of being grossed out at how much I was putting away mingled with immense satisfaction that he had got this one full and square, that he knew the wife.

I know that since I have started blogging, it seems like I do not let a Horlicks or dishes episode pass, ‘unseized’. I know I have whined about the romance that seems to have been married off and sent away. I also know that quite a few of my handful of readers are single. So let me take this chance to set the record straight on my views on the subject. To not have to force yourself to think when you are not up to it, to know that decisions made on your behalf will only have your welfare in mind, to be able to completely trust that even though you might not be the expert on a particular subject and be completely unaware of the intricacies behind it, you do have this covered as you are with a person who will take the time to cover it for you, is unbeatable. I am obviously not talking about just idlis here. And this is just a small fraction of the whole picture.

Am I glad I stuck around after the hurling to figure out that he needs his food too, large quantities of it, but just a little later in the day? YES. Do we do winding roads anymore? NO. It’s all in the prenup, just after the section on no-translation-of-Tamil-movies and before the one on foot-massages. It’s the prenup all couples have, the one that isn’t about money, the one you don’t need your lawyer to help write up, and the one that keeps changing. You can add to it and remove, as you wish, as long as you both get to be editors.

To my readers - I realize I had promised a dishy scoop on the party and have instead written on this. Sorry, can’t help it! The party was a blast and I came away loving life and the living. The sambhar and the spring did not help either. But please don’t walk away in a huff, the bitch is on a hiatus but she will soon resurface. I promise!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You threw up on your first date with hubby???? LOL! LOL!


9:05 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous alpha said...

Huff! *walks away*

10:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

saturated idlis being sent for a dip in chutney pool! :D

10:20 AM  
Blogger Rhyncus said... the secret of a happy marriage is an endearing peek (puke?) into the real you on the first date. Plus an ongoing prenup. Ah. Now I'm so ready.
Have I told you before that you write well? No? Hmm...I should, one of these days.

10:40 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Haaaa! Gotcha! I am gloating here! No more Horlicks posts! You can't fool us anymore!
Now you are gonna have all the gals going "awwwwww"!).
And ask Mr.Gabby tonight what he remembers about your first date and tell us about it :p
(P.S I hated my own comment! ya, I am picky! And I see Alpha played true to form!)

10:42 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Shobha - Yes, I remember I had got some puke on my boots too! GROSS na?

Anti - Arre no, Horlicks posts will come...the rosy mood lasts but this long! The sambhar has been long digested :) Also, I have a feeling he remembers the puking pretty well himself...but I will check with him...& let you know! Please follow advice left on your blog and post something new.

Alpha - Like you were waiting with baited breath for the gripe-sequel!

Anon - Sometimes they cruble before you can do that then you just spoon them in like upma! :) Either way, saturation is important.

10:45 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

rhynus - you are stingy with the claps, i've noticed :) See when you get the worst out of the way, eating like a pig first thing in the morning seems almost ladylike !

anti - kya re? i reply full and square and you come back with an almost identical comment. INCORRIGIBLE.

10:50 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

I told u, I hated my previous comment! :p

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love's fun even if I don't know that meal you went for!!!!!


10:57 AM  
Blogger VC said...

Nice post!

btw, does this prenup have clauses regarding how often either one can add to it or remove something the other person has added?

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Observer said...

"as long as you both get to be editors"

Not bad Gratis, not bad at all.

11:02 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Anti - So picky about your comments! Wonder how long you took to pick that picture of yours for your blog ! :)

Peggy - I put in small descriptions of the meal components. Hope that helps!

vc - Thanks, no, we can do what we like with it. Btw, in case you think we maintain an Excel sheet or something for this, that's not the case! :) The prenup was symbolic of mutual-agreements that couples make to "ignore" some just let it go as an eccentricity of the partner..Welcome, this your first time here I think?

obserer - You observe a lot nowadays I see...thanks very much!

11:15 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Nah.. somethings I do at the spur of the moment and somethings I think about for a long time before and after the deed! :p
I am a thinker who can still be spontaneous when needed!
That pic was a spontaneous act of showing all of you my softer side ;)

11:22 AM  
Blogger manan said...

you know what? if i found out on my first date that a girl loved food to the extent of throwing up without it; i'd probably sign on the dotted line pretty quickly.

after all, how often can a guy know for sure that he has one thing in common with a girl, and not just one thing but one of the most important things in life!

11:38 AM  
Blogger thennavan said...

Gabby, thanks for all the mushy post on "the other side of the fence" (my current one is for us folks on this side :-))

And what is this new soap I am hearing about ("soaked in gorgeous sambhar (spicy lentil soap kinda thing)")? Is it brown and viscous? :-) (sorry, just pointing the typo; don't give me that look, H--e---l----p :-))

11:50 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Manan - "one of the most important things in life" - You make me smile. Good, so girls needn't bother with the girlie stuff you away, the men love it! I will pass the word around man...! But admit it, you wouldn't want her saying it all the time! (For the record, I'm NOT ALWAYS HUNGRY...just in the mornings :))

thennavan - I sometimes feel I'm on both sides...I have not forgotten my single-days though it's been some allows me to compare...

thanks for pointing out my typo - though it was done in a style not very encouraged! That'll be one soap you wouldn't want getting in your eyes huh? :)

11:59 AM  
Blogger Patrix said...

I also hadn’t a clue that the long and winding was this long, or this winding. - Funny.

I wonder what your BF/now-husband was thinking when you puked 6 times on your first must redeemed yourself in a big measure :) What would you have done if he had puked as many times on your first date???

12:26 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Patrix - I tried very hard to redeem myself I remember! It must have worked :)...Jeez, never thought of what would have happened if he had thrown up!!! Depends on how HE would have redeemed himself I guess...:)

1:37 PM  
Blogger Rhyncus said...

Heck. You never warned us about the redemption and all. I thought you could puke all you wanted and that was it. Sigh. I'll have to rethink my plans now.
And oh..*clap*? :)

3:14 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

rhyncus - it depends. if you're aiming for a woman who can just 'stand' you, or more...! you might be able to get away with only puking depending on the case :)

don't use up your limited energy reserves clapping, it's just Monday...I'll manage :)

I promise to never misspell the name EVER.

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the explanations. That was sweet of ya.


3:45 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Peggy - Welcome.

Oye Rhyncus - Your blog has disappeared!?? Or at least I can't see it...if you haven't posted anything new, then don't bother trouble-shooting..

3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A girl I dated threw up once. But it had nothing to do car-sickness or winding streets, she was hung over. So it was disgusting for me.

Good post.


4:07 PM  
Blogger Khushee said...


4:29 PM  
Blogger Peg said...

I smile.

4:48 PM  
Blogger shub said...

damn!! now yo've goen and made me hungry! yearning for masala dosa!NOW!! i want it now!

9:50 PM  
Blogger phatichar said...

Gabby's your HUSBAND? And here I was, thinking it's YOUR nickname in short...!! I even addressed you as gabby in my reply at my blog. aaaarghhh..well, anyway, after what you wrote about marriage, i guess doesn't make much of a diff who's gab and who's gabby, huh? (sorry, that was a dry joke) :). You take care and hey, i agree 200% with ur take on marriage.

10:07 PM  
Blogger phatichar said...

Hey, gabby's indeed YOU! the Mr. Gabby by anti got me confused..hehehe...a 'thaaausand apologies' (like that sardar in mind ur language) :))

10:16 PM  
Anonymous Ash said...

Lol. That was funny and sweet as syrup *grin*

And oh-so-very encouraging for some of us :)

10:26 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

Lovely! So well written. Even I am ravenous in the mornings and NEED food.

12:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

;-) Idly, dosa, sambhar n chutney... yummy yummy (*approving look*)
n bout the "other side of married life"......... will try n find that out.. :-)

1:52 AM  
Blogger Winged Umai said...

hahah puking on first date... thats a roll.. my prenup = space../

when I dont want to talk.. you dont talk.. I do the same..
when I watch soaps = u dont make fun of me.. u go and play computer games..
when you play games = I read books...
when I am late = you cook = I shall cook you a better meal for just doing that//
and it goes on and on....

Buhahahahaha !!

2:40 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Khushee, Peg, Ash, numita - Quite a syrupy one from me huh? :) Glad ya'll enjoyed it.

Shub - The cravings hit! Better not try to make it (I read your story on that!)...

Phatichar - Good, the confusion got cleared. Anti tends to confuse people, so don't start typing right after rading his comments, it's best to read one or two regular ones to get things back in order! LOL.

Anon - Have fun finding out!...Let us know, we can compare notes.

winged wolf - LOL! Nice, nice. You've give me quite a few ideas.

6:10 AM  
Anonymous sqrl/nt said...

I guess it is better than crying buckets on your first date...:)

6:10 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

sqrl/nt - HUH? I'm intrigued. Do tell. Or send a link.

6:12 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Anti tends to confuse people, so don't start typing right after rading his comments, it's best to read one or two regular ones to get things back in order! - Everyone, yeah, thats true. Sometimes I confuse ppl! Particularly if you RAD me. So follow Gabby's advice and READ to get things back in order :p

Phatichar: Gabby is Gratisgab and Mr.Gabby is her hubby who has had to endure her (digestive) disasters from their first date till today!

Gabby: Haaa.. I got one back on you :p

6:43 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Anti - So you did! Taking advantage of my typos I see :)...

Btw, Mr.Gabby's digestive disasters are many in itself...I'll have to devote a post to that...ahhh, it might need several sequels actually...

6:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't think you actually needed to 'set the record straight'. Even through the complaints it's quite obvious mr&mrs gabby have a good thing going.

came here via megha's. lovely writing!


8:36 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

ca-chick - Aww, thanks girl! Lovely comment! :)

11:55 AM  
Blogger doutes said...

Great post! I'm glad I don't throw up on no food.. but I do transform into an ugly cranky bitch. I'm sure hubby would prefer me throwing up instead! :)

6:19 PM  
Blogger shub said... did read that post, didcha?!! now go on n tell me you aren't half as bad! :p
i completely forgot to add, in my previous comment, what u described is pretty much me...hungry as a raven at all times! n i'm the butt of all jokes relaetd to food! *sigh*

9:14 PM  
Blogger KJ said...

after reading all abt idli & chutney & sambhar & dosa, myself felt craving for the same. So I had to force my hubby (as he was working & I was off)to take me to eat idli & dosa at 11 am on a working day . I wanted him to come along so that he cud look after the baby while i eat idli & dosa to my stomach's fill..... (pet bharke in other words)

hubby THOT i was pregnant again & asked me quite worriedly, " sweetie, why do u feel like having idli & dosa at 11am on a working day. are u not telling me something? i almost choked on the idli piece that i was having & after that i burst out laughing. i then explained to him that i read on gabby's blog all about idli & sambhar & dosa & hence felt the craving.

Guess what was his reaction???????????

1:59 AM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Once again, your sheer honesty reels me in for a lovely and entertaining read. I totally love your rendition of the non-money pre-nup. So true yet so few will ever admit to it!! This is great!!

3:14 AM  
Blogger Rhyncus said...

If I can get *any* woman to stand me without puking, that would be enough. (Am I setting my sights too low? Too high?)
Now that it is Wednesday, I can clap clap clap. :) And I have no idea where my blog is at. Maybe its taking a well-deserved break, maybe it is sulking someplace. But yeah, I've not posted anything either. Would you know more about this disappearance?

7:17 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

sb - It was too early for UCB (Ugly, cranky...)....nowadays the puking is accompanied by big dose of UCB-iness :)

shub - We eaters are cool...lets start spreading that around, try to change the world in our own little way! We're soul sisters girl!!

kj - LOL! next time, ask the hubby to read my blog too (shameless advertising there, sorry)...that way there'll be no suprises...:)

Weary - thanks! i know....anybody who says "I love EVERYTHING about him/her" is so lying :)

rhyncus - Hee hee...your totally lax attitude towards it's disappearance just 'up-ed' your cool-factor by like 100..time for me to go *clap*....NOW i think you're setting those sights too low...

1:14 PM  
Blogger MD said...

Ok, somehow, this gives me hope....don't ask :)

4:27 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Yo Gabby, still on your hiatus? I am gonna walk away in a huff soon!

6:44 PM  
Blogger manuscrypts said...

and until then, live with normal stuff like idlis and dosas??

1:57 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

md - Good! :)

anti - no man..these people at work are expecting me to do work, the insanity!...anyways i'm on my way back, verry soon...

manu - yes, the substitute might well work better than the rants :)

6:55 AM  
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10:33 PM  

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