Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Gut Speak?

The music was perfect. The flowers looked correct. Her bridesmaids were glowing, luminous even. She began her slow march down the aisle in step with her father. Smiles. Small waves. The rustle of silk and brocade as everyone rose. She could see him waiting patiently. Yes everything was looking precise. She looked at him and he looked at her. It was as she expected. Had been expecting, for a long time. No surprises, no shocks, no flutter, and no...zest. The idea of this day had entrenched itself in her mind and taken root so long ago, she couldn’t remember its derivation. Like a thriving sapling nourished by drain water. Like a habit, that at first she formed and which had then slowly, formed her. The images ran through her head and her mind raced. His life, but without her. And hers, without him, and both, beautiful. Was there someone else? No. But wasn’t almost-indifference almost-infidelity, in the least? It was later than she thought. She turned on her heel and stumbled out. “What am I going to do?” she thought frantically as the humdrum and panic around her closed in. She turned to meet her father’s eyes across the growing distance between them and she was shocked to register no shock in his. A small nod. “I’ll be okay” she thought, as she lifted her train and ran down the stairs, taking two at a time.
---

47 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this a true story? Gabby, are you a runaway bride? Heh Heh!

10:52 AM  
Blogger Patrix said...

I bet Mr.Gabby had the exit door shut during your wedding :)

1:17 PM  
Anonymous i-know-who-u-are said...

So Gratisgab, drawing from real-life experiences nowadays, are we?

This is all fun and games to you?

1:45 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Anon - Maybe! What do you think? :)

Patrix - Good thing a 9 yards kanjeevaram makes running a challenging task huh? I guess that's why the Tams came up with it...keeps 'em brides weighed down!

you-know-who-i-am? Reeeaaallly? Where from do you get the fun-n-games undertones? You're imagining it. But I'm definitely not imagining the threat-y undertones. So it's best you stay away cos you will only get scalded here, trust me.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Ash said...

Reminded me of Dil Hai Ke Maanta Nahin ... dads are the best, are'nt they ?:)

P.S Are y'all hoping to buy pink booties or blue ones ?

2:21 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Ash - Yes, they're rocks. Solid rocks.

I want pink ones...Mr.Gabby is neutral. My friends have these "feelings" about what they're gonna have. I feel and feel but get nothing! :)

2:25 PM  
Anonymous Somedude said...

Two comments. The story is nicely written. Love the "almost-indifference almost-infidelity" bit. Could possibly use a better metaphor than drain water sapling, but its ok.

About the character of the story, I hate people like her. More precisely, I really really wish people like her suffer a lot in the long run, so that other people realize the results of such behavior. Why such wavering at the last moment, why such change of thought at the time of decision ? Think and analyze all that one wants before the event, but do not under any circumstances screw oneself and every other person up at the time of the event. No, this is not cute or "you go, girl" kind of thing to do, it is an incredibly insensitive and stupid thing to do.

But kudos !! It speaks volumes about the author if the character can inspire emotions (love/hatred/etc) in the readers.

3:25 PM  
Blogger manuscrypts said...

hmm, but to a certain extent we see others' expressions in the way we would want them to be...

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just saw your previous post Gabby. Heartiest Congratulations :) :)

Ashwin
www.infinitelimits.blogspot.com

9:37 PM  
Blogger Rash said...

Runaway bride? Have always wondered if that happens in real life. Is this a true story? ;-p

10:19 PM  
Blogger phatichar said...

??!! :))

10:47 PM  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

I wish you could see my face right now after reading your last post. I am SO profoundly happy for you G!
This is the BEST news for such an early in the morning visit here... just the best!

You're right, it's not all a bed of roses - the 40 weeks, that is - however, the flower that presents itself in the end is going to be more magnificent than any other you've ever seen or touched.

Now to this post ... I loved it. Oh, if only I could have had that sort of insight as I took my first walk down the aisle. The thing about this writing is ... it could be metaphoric. In other words, perhaps she hadn't even really gotten to the church yet ... and had sudden doubts long before the actual ceremony.

Many do. It happens to grooms as well. Too bad most would never act on it. It could free up the court system! (divorce court)

Oh how I do love coming here!

(now, go eat some saltines - haha)

2:24 AM  
Blogger phatichar said...

Oh, and btw gabby? I'm back on my blog... :)

5:43 AM  
Blogger Peg said...

NICE!!! And I say good for her!! better to live your life a short while with little humility then to be miserable forever!!
Although I do feel sorry for him!

Gabby, you pulled me in again!! As if I expected anything less! ;-0}

5:52 AM  
Anonymous ?! said...

Agree with dude above : well written, but dislike the heroine (?) for causing needless agony. Would've disliked her more if she had decided to go with the flow (heads I win, tails you lose :)). In addition, believe that love is what starts budding after the marriage bouquets have wilted : till then, they are just two blooming idiots hoping like hell it will work.
( I wonder why everybody is being so nice and not analysing each word in terms of " Oh, it must be a morning sickness day"/"Oh, it must be a girl: they always make mothers cranky"/"Oh, it's a boy, they always make mothers curmedgeonly" etc kind of theories. Did you delete the prev post by any chance?).

6:32 AM  
Anonymous Ashok said...

Whether it is true or made-up, it's well written.
On the choice the lady made, I think she would have made the his life hell even if she did go ahead. Second thoughts even before the bouquets have wilted is not a recipe for happiness.

6:53 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

somedude - Thanks for the comments on my writing. Now, your remarks on the girl's decision make me wonder - Would you have really preferred her to go ahead with the wedding with such negative thoughts festering in her head already? How fair would it have been to the guy then? I agree, these are things she should have thought of before, but postponing the unpleasantness even more would have ruined a whole many other lives, non? Insensitive part I agree with. But being a little mean at times is required if you want to take care of you. Not a nice thing to do, but haven't we all been there at some point? Protecting yourself is an primitive reaction and running when you are scared is too.

Ah, but leaving that story with no explanations of the beginning or the end was the idea....my readers' reactions are the most interesting part.

Manu - True...either that or we see others as we are already. But that makes me wonder about you now! LOL!

Ashwin - Thanks man.

Rash - I don't know. What do you think?

7:40 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Phatichar - OK that comment is getting old now :)

Weary - I'll hold on to that comment of the 40 weeks being worth it. It better! :) Thanks so much.
And your insight at this stage is awesome...yes, it needn't be happening in the eleventh hour but such thoughts are what one has to look for I think. A bad sign...best to get going! LOL @ the court comment! Talking about saltines...I should devote a whole post to the greatness of it..it has/can save a life!

Peg - And you put across in one line what I'm rambling on about all over this comment box. "Better to live your life a short while with little humility then to be miserable forever!!"...Well said Peg!

?! - Ah, I don't know about love budding only after the marriage bouquets have wilted. Then why bother about who you're getting married to at all? Love will come anyway! No, not quite. The will to make it work, come what may, has to be there. And love is what makes that possible. Or lethargy maybe...many would ignore those negative thoughts and just plunge ahead. As Weary Hag said, these are the people who will fill the divorce courts one day.

And yes, people are being sparing in the preggy-analyses, aren't they? One more post on my misery should revive it all :)

Ashok - Thanks! Yay! One guy who agrees with the girl's decision. We need more of your kind man :)

8:06 AM  
Blogger Prerona said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

I will be chain my bride-to-be to a pillar, so no such panga should happen with me. All I am waiting for is for some girl to wander close to the pillar.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Prerona said...

Gabby, congrats love! Get ready to get seriously fat ;@)

Loved this post, as usual.

I think that love doesnt always last. My bro used to tell me as a kid that its just a silly myth that love lasts forever, its only everlasting love that lasts forever.

Sometimes we feel things which are genuine enough, but they dont last. Sometimes we feel things which we mistake for greater things. Its sad but true. I think its never too late and its better to run than stay back and dish out pity for love. Or duty. Or moral obligation.

Its kind of the 'father, son and donkey' story, isnt it? Whatever u do, some people will hate u for it. Guess it goes with the teritory of being alive.

if u walk at the wedding: "u didnt think earlier!"

if u walk before the wedding: "ur thinking of all this now? after all this?"

if u walk before it starts: ... "u wont even give it a go?"

if u dont walk, but cant force urself to feel everything u should, when u dont: "then why didnt u just walk"

8:45 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Zo - You NEVER fail to crack me up...I'm in splits here! If pillar don't work start laying some human-mouse-traps or something you ingenious tribesman :)

Prero - YOU SAID IT. People will always have a 1001 opinions...follow your heart I say always...call me a hopeless romantic. But there's actually so much practicality there, it's knowing what makes you happy. Anyway, once bitten, cautiousness will become the name of the game!

9:01 AM  
Anonymous ?! said...

It's a gamble, G. Odds enhanced by the what I think of as the Life Force Rule: Put two young adults together. Unless one be a SoB or the other a B, Nature will ensure love flowers. Not tolerance, not resignation, love. Provided you give it the time and have the will to make a go of it, of course. Why not before ? Simple. Without the committment that a marriage entails, with the window of being able to walk away at some time ... even your lady had a "thriving sapling", albeit nourished by drain water...difficult to define "love". Esp since the gent went on about it being an "evershining mark that looks on tempests and is not shaken". (Could probably rant on, but will cease and desist in deference to you-know-what.) (There, have stuck to resolution of introducing motif of you know what in every comment)

9:28 AM  
Blogger Prerona said...

?!, sorry to barge in, but in that case then I think there are a huge number of B's and S'sOB's out there

10:00 AM  
Blogger Übermaniam said...

umm...i just liked the story. sorry.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous ?! said...

Prero, ahh, but that's where we differ ... ==> is the Eternal Morontic ... eeps, Romantic. A half forgotten song promised that "dil ki nazar" guaranteed "haseen duniya" ...Check it out, could be as advertised, wot ? As I said, could rant on, but tis difficult to keep introducing motif about you know what without seeming contrived, so will C & D ( sigh, done).

10:09 AM  
Blogger Prerona said...

C&D manje kay - sorry - i always get confused with these shortforms

but doesnt it take the whole romance out of romance if it can happen anywhere any place -

actually in u caught me in the middle of writing something that looks at what love / attraction / whatever is ... dunno if i'll get it all in shape ever

yeah - i know what u mean though. conversely, i think whoever it was and however it was, when i was in her place i'd probably get spooked and run :)

10:17 AM  
Anonymous n said...

The drain water comparison was a bit much. Nevertheless, kudos, for conveying so much in just a few lines.

10:27 AM  
Anonymous khotta said...

wow. u really have the gift of gab. you've been one of those familiar strangers to me for so long tht i wonder why i never came here before. you have a way with putting things forward.

11:10 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

?!: Dude, if you are married, I need to talk to you to get some more fundaes from a married man's perspective. As it is, I echo everything you said. My reasoning is slightly different.
Essentially love has to gradually happen and happen it will only when both are aware of every small shortcoming in each others part. Sadly that does not happen. Subterfuge is the name of the game.
And that's why I pretty much don't care if someone uses the word "love" in relation to someone that they have met just weeks ago. And I am no way surprised that months down the line, a falling out begins.
IMHO, Compatibility is the king of all qualities. Love is just another four letter word. Call me old fashioned, but I am not averse to the whole desi concept of an arranged marriage. It no more of a gamble than these so called love marriages that I see around me. Again, for all those desis who say they'd rahter go for an arranged marriage, I'd ask them not to hold their breath. Its a standard issue mine field like any other.
What would make me feel very good is seeing someone who was in a live in relationship or in a non-physical friendship (I don't subscribe to the skewed viewpoints of Harry Burns), without prior mutual commitments decide they could formalize things. That makes me feel good, cos they have spent time without the whole sword of committment hanging over their head and at least they have been themselves with each other......

12:20 PM  
Anonymous khotta said...

linked you

2:13 PM  
Blogger Parna said...

Gabby i would go with the girl. there is no point in getting into something where the very foundation of a relation is like a 'has been'.

10:05 PM  
Blogger phatichar said...

which comment?

10:11 PM  
Blogger :-) said...

Gabby: With all due respect and stuff, I didnt get this post. Can we get back to pregnancy talk? Thanks. :-)

10:15 PM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

agree with ?!.. put any two "normal" induhviduals together ..and love shall blossom..or they would think that it did..

1:34 AM  
Anonymous ?! said...

And Wi-Fi, who's to say that their thinking was wrong ? Some of the things that arranged marriages take care of in maximising the odds resolving issues of background, acceptability to parents etc. still a gamble. But at least you are going ahead with a clean slate. My grouse with so called "love marriages" is that since true knowledge is going to come later, the two are going in with mistaken perceptions. Sometimes, it works: you laugh when you think of the romantic ideas ( Gabby's hubby doing the dishes). Sometimes it leads to chaos. "Tis better to have loved and lost/than not to have loved at all,'tis said/winning sometimes has it's own cost/Giving the lawyers their daily bread!"

That reminds me, G, you cant be too careful what you eat, iron and protein and assorted other factors are critical during you know what ! ( Managed).

3:04 AM  
Blogger AmitL said...

Hi,Gabby,is that a true-life memory,or,is it reminiscent of an Eng movie,I wonder?

8:11 PM  
Blogger Übermaniam said...

We should all go and see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. Together.

1:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go Girl! Good for her!

9:08 AM  
Blogger rapunzel said...

:)

i've spent the last few minutes trying to figger out if you were my friend who has started a "secret" blog. she's preggers too.lol!

11:22 PM  
Anonymous HoliDevil said...

First of all Congrats

So is this post inspired from Dil Hai Ki Manta Nahi


TC

12:39 AM  
Anonymous ?! said...

Anti : Fundaes are long and all too-readily dispensed. In summary though, the Pet Shop Boys had it partially correct, Linda R and Buddy H hit it right on the head, and when that lass thought the flowers looked correct, she should've remembered Lynn A.

1:26 AM  
Anonymous HiredGun said...

Methinks Gabby recently saw "The Graduate".

Congratulations on the pregnancy! All the best.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Arunima said...

I wish I was that girl. It would be fun just like the movies. (wicked grin)

It's not going to happen though (on second thoughts.)

5:44 AM  
Blogger phatichar said...

Everything ok, Gabby?

7:33 AM  
Anonymous pallavi said...

run lola run ... hahahah !!

1:28 AM  
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10:18 PM  

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