Friday, December 22, 2006

It’s Come Home

Scene I – Happened some months ago. I’m nursing the baby. The living daylights are knocked out of me as my neck snaps up in pain, my face contorts and I have a sudden impulse to fling the baby into the center of the room. But instead? I ease him off gently, run downstairs yelling "MrG! Guess what? He’s teething!!!" And then we go out and buy half a dozen teething toys and rings for him to chew on. I carry the bite marks like an emblem, showing them off in private to MrG, till they fade away.

Scene II – He grabs my hair in his little fist and tugs away till I can feel the tears in my eyes. I open his tight fist and immediately proceed to remove all the hair from his hand lest he put it in his mouth. Much later, I rub the area near my temple, where it still hurts. Only a little.

Scene III – I’m putting the monster to sleep. It’s quiet and the lullaby CD promises to put me out before it does him. He kicks around and tosses and turns on the bed like a madcap (usual practice). It reaches a pinnacle which means anytime now, we’re done. My eyes begin to close. He flings himself toward me like a cannonball and his coconut-like hard little head knocks me on the mouth, my right incisor clamps down on my lip. I can taste the blood. I don’t move a centimeter. No point getting him excited, we are almost there. 5 mins later, when he is still and breathing steady I get up and check in the mirror. The lower lip is swollen like a plum. MrG walks in. I say "He’s out and it’s only 10:15. Good day, na?"

says "The Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response in which the hostage exhibits loyalty to the hostage-taker, in spite of the danger (or at least risk) in which the hostage has been placed."

Yes, that’s it. Stockholm has come home.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That first one must have hurt. Was that what made you stop breastfeeding?


9:16 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Anon - I'm guessing we know each other? Do come clean.

As for your question...well yes, but the true Stockholm victim would have continued, non?

9:24 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Err.. and the hostage here in this case, is you and Mr.G?

I should ask the Maharaja all about this in a few years and get to know what he feels about being labeled a kidnapper!

10:06 AM  
Blogger Sqrl/TA said...

I was wondering. When Maharaja grows up, wouldnt it be fun to show him these posts?

10:30 AM  
Blogger cheti said...

Gab !! you seem to have a gift of seeing things in the right perspective !!!

Great many good days ahead !!! lols !

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

The syndrome had come home a long time ago - Alpha gave me this inside info - Apparently Mr Gabby was complaining about the Stockholm syndrome to his mommy as soon as he got hitched .... hmmmmmm ...

11:48 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

been there, done that..:P

welcome to the mother's club...



12:08 PM  
Blogger sanguine said...

first thing first .. boy am i glad to see you back .. *me happy*

and now *ouch* .. that must have hurt ..

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hell, you are funny. Children make you feel happy about things you never thought possible?

1:32 PM  
Anonymous motherofthree said...

You think you are funny? Mothers like you never cease to amaze me with your callousness, and your free usage of the words.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous sqrlta said...

hey I was going through the comments and I saw I had written the same thing anantha said right before me. :)

2:34 PM  
Anonymous shub said...

Gabs, your post is funny. But know what's funnier? the comment from motherofthree! :D Is this the latest trend or what?
@Cheti, yeah madame here has that gift, and another : gift of the Gab :P ( sorry, bad one, couldn' resist! )

4:35 PM  
Anonymous karan said...

Hopefully Maharaja would pick up on Lima syndrome soon!

5:14 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

anantha - sure, do ! but that's hoping all our parenting techniques haven't screwed him up completely :)

sqrl - anantha's method is better....all this damming evidence will be long gone!

cheti - thanks! right i feel liberated, i can move on to my deeper feelings. LOL!

zo - no, he was complaining of getting hitched, period. he (unlike us, now) did not relish being tortured. btw, does alpha tell you everything?

kj - you have? god, it hurts! and the scratches? and we rush to trim his nails in case he hurts HIMSELF!

9:27 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

sanguine - thanks. i'm glad to be back too....i missed this more than i realized.

anon - yes they do. he eats well, he sleeps well, it's a good day. and we fall asleep with the greatest sense of accomplishment! :)

motherofthree - did you read my previous post? do. please don't miss the knife part. and stick around, there will be much more, i promise. yes, i think i'm a bit funny. amazing you is just a added bonus.

sqrl - what do i say, my readers are great minds, who think alike (motherofthree, you are sadly excluded) :)

shub - trend? i hope not, but if it is, then it too shall pass. and yeah, it's all gab anyway :)

karan - LOL! That will be a good day. "Let me scratch mommy's face after she trims my nails. That way i wont really draw blood." So sweet, I'll go. *sigh*

9:39 PM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Wait till he discovers the joys of suddenly screaming at the top of his lungs near your ears. :D

Lovely post! Keep 'em coming!

12:47 PM  
Blogger Rash said...

erm...they can be quite dangerous with the dads as well. In our case, he gets hit more than I do. :)

12:53 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

sudipta - no, no!!! :)

rash - MrG has his own lists...he just hasn't a blog!

3:26 PM  
Blogger KJ said...

wait till he starts talking....
u will yearn for PEACE...

when di talks non stop, i tell her "di willl u pls be quiet for 2 mins" Her answer is straight forward "NO" followed by a look tthat says " Mom, u must b ecrazy" and that cheeky impish grin that melts my heart...

as SIMBLE as that


4:17 AM  
Blogger Ashish Gupta said...

awwn :"> the sweet pains of parenting!

just got off from fone, talking to my didi - shes got a 2yr old girl. wait till your kiddo learns how to run around!!!
(her fav stories sound horror movies to me :P)

reminds me of, "Each one of them is a blessing, really [..]" by Lynette Scavo :)

9:33 AM  
Blogger manuscrypts said...

good, you're growing up fast :)

9:28 PM  
Blogger visithra said...

Ouch -
heheh on the stockholm syndrome though ;p

u know i was reminded of all the times men cringe when someones balls get kicked - i imagine women would do the same if a teething baby scene was ever shot!

Hehhe but the naughtier side of me wants to scare my soon to be married friends with such tales ;p i know ill get the favour back ;p

11:35 PM  
Blogger junoesque said...

this bought back so many memories...despite all the trials and angst and uncertainty and sleepless nights..there is no greater sense of fulfillment or completion...

god bless you and your baby


2:37 AM  
Blogger Orchid said...

First time here. I hear ya but let me warn you this is just the tip of the iceberg..I have a 31/2 yr old!

2:52 PM  
Blogger AmitL said...

LOL,I've heard of children showing off bruise marks,but,the mark u showed off to Mr.G was of a new cadre...err,are u training the baby to be a boxer,the way he flihgs and knocks u on the mouth.:)Have similar fun in 2007 too.Happy New Year.:)

8:29 PM  
Blogger MotoRama said...

ROFL! That was a "KICK ASS" blog!

1:40 PM  
Blogger Ashish Gupta said...

oh boy! I've been searching for this one - took a few days to finally find it. you are gonna love this strip :)

now u can thank me ;-)

and hey wish you a cheerful and interesting year ahead :)

12:48 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

Happy New Year
Wishing you and your family a new year that brings peace prosperity and happiness to all


12:46 AM  
Blogger sanguine said...

happy new year gabby dear .. n a wet wet kiss to maharaja

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

YES!! YES!! ALPHA TELLS ME EVERYTHING!! FORWARDS ALL YOUR MAILS, PHOTOS, VIDEOS ;-) EVERYTHING!! Oye keep ur baby away from sanguine ... whats with the wet wet slurpy kiss !!!

2:42 PM  
Blogger phatichar said...

hehehe...have a great s(mother)ing year.. :)

12:17 AM  
Blogger alpha said...

zoheb: why such desperate measures? just ask.

1:02 PM  
Blogger sanguine said...

zoheb, darlin the innocent ( albeit the wet wet one , you added the slurpy urself) kiss is for the maharaja ..

why do you have the problem .. some childhood trauma kya ?

10:16 PM  
Blogger Prerona said...

Happy New Year New Mommie :)

6:44 AM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

sanguine, if your innocent kisses are so slurpy wet wet, I wonder what your other kisses must be like :D

Aur mere childhood traumas ka mazaak mat udao, or I will start some loud blank noise right here :D

10:17 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

tsk tsk...look whats happening when mama's been out...kissing and what-not....

undeniably tempting to give individual responses but can't this one time...:(...will use all this ammu for later tho :) (esp wet slurpy stuff)

happy new year and all the good stuff people!

7:51 PM  
Blogger sanguine said...

sorry gabby this is last one

zoheb - wont you want to know ...

12:57 AM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Haye, mai to sharmaa gayaa ..........!!! Uff, yeh kaha aa phansa, chhodo .... jaane do mujhe :D

10:47 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

zo - stop the bashful stuff, you know you want it! :)

9:43 AM  
Blogger Rahul said...

hahahaha.......Very nice post...first time vistor of luck with the kid

2:42 PM  
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