Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Their Grass is Greener. Really.

We don’t live in Wisteria lane exactly, but we could easily pass for the adjacent one. The underlying suburban traits are so obvious, and the competition is maddening. The landscaping is our lane’s favorite summer thing, and I’m fast discovering, my favorite summer peeve. We usually take solace from the fact that our front door neighbors are not in the mad race either. Our lawn and existing landscaping was quickly achieving a very Wild Garden look (that is a type of garden – a certain William Robinson declared it. My kinda guy). I helped Mr.G name the look we were going for and went right back to choosing rugs for the living room...not the hubby, he was losing serious sleep over this. But it’s been a busy year, to put it lightly.

The arrival of his mother brought a couple of things to light. For him, it was the fact that maybe there was one solution; his mother could water the lawn! And for me, I figured our where the passive-aggressive streak of competition in him comes from. It began slowly. She wondered aloud the first week about when the neighbors water their lawns as she doesn’t see anybody do it. I explained automatic sprinklers, reiterating the fact that it has been a busy year for us. Her face fell at first but quickly changed to fierce determination. A couple of weeks ago, she asked about beautiful boulders in other people’s front yards and the topic of professional landscapers came around. This time, the determination was mingled with anxiety.

Last weekend we were at the Boston Commons enjoying Shakespeare in the open...this was my first time watching “Taming of the Shrew”. As we spread our blankets and I settled down to an evening minus baby, I caught MrG staring at the grass. “It’s just Bluegrass Rough...not even Kentucky! But still pretty green, huh?” I sighed.

The next morning, I wake up to see MrG and his mom at the windows. I make my coffee and go to stand next to them to see what is keeping them there. Our front door buddies, our comrades in crime, have crossed over! They have hired professional landscapers who have driven up in a huge truck. Some 6 men jump out and roll out yards and yards of Rye carpet grass. In the course of the next few hours, voices are high strung and there is undeniable jitteriness in our home. Our neighbor waved to my husband, grinning. And needless to say, the landscapers drove away leaving behind the nicest lawn on our neighbor’s side of the street, and two very pissed off people on this side of it.

Its 11 PM as I write this and the mother and the son are in the yard, turning off our manual hose sprinkler. There has been much discussion on professional yard maintenance and landscaping. Our neighbor had apparently waved again, grinning. MrG gets on Local Google.

I take my opening line back – we could pass for Wisteria lane itself. Though the housewives are a tad laidback here, the desperate husbands are aplenty.


Blogger Prerona said...

as usual Vie, lovely read ...

11:42 PM  
Anonymous ?! said...

"It's good to touch the green, green grass of home...."


9:30 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Landscaping and desperateness in Mr.G! hmmm...Your's is not the Solis household , is it? Gabrielle vs Gabby, even the name's rhyme!

9:37 AM  
Blogger Maltova said...

lol@lawn competitiveness.

That is all together a different kinda contest, isn't it?, where the variables can be anything from the type of grass to the landscapers you decide to call in.

It's interesting to see the Mr worried about getting the greenest lawn in the lane than the Mrs who's nonchalance is amusing.

Gabbs, i would've almost certainly missed this piece... you forgot to link? ;)

9:48 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

prero - thanks girl.

?! - Not that green...and THAT my dear Watson, is the problem :)

Anantha - We differ in more ways! Your guess is as good as mine :)

maltova - Yes the variables are way too many in that equation...and when some of teh variables are missing as in our case, it's a sorry state indeed.. Link? What link? Sorry?

9:58 AM  
Blogger alpha said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:15 AM  
Blogger alpha said...

The housewives of Visteria lane were fine and laidback till professional landscapers came into the picture..thats when Gabby sleeps with the gardener!

Not our Gabby of course!

11:16 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Alpha - we are still checking out landscapers. We haven't decided on one yet.


12:33 PM  
Blogger jhantu said...

Are Desperate husbands in the wisteria lane of yours allowed the occasional fling ala desperate housewives or is that the strict domain of the desperate wives and wives only??
Nice read btw

2:10 PM  
Blogger sunshine said...

omg!! i think i shud live in student apartments forever... even vacuuming is a pain!

3:37 PM  
Blogger manuscrypts said...

and as we speak, the crossover happens? and its the neighbours' turn to go green? :)

11:44 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

Peer pressure, I tell you! It can make you go a long way!

5:34 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

jhantu - no they are not - hence the obsession with the lawns. Gotta put that energy somewhere!

sunshine - student life is the best - it's downhill from there. I remember thinking, more money is more savings...how wrong!

manu - not yet...in any case we are the only ones green right now - almost makes up for our brown lawn. :)

anumita - yeah...we're back to our teens. (Did we really ever get out?)

8:28 AM  
Blogger Munimma said...

you even know the names of the grass types? What is it with men and the yard, eh?

can't believe the MR is already into solids!

And you are actually in sync with MIL! :-)

2:04 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

munimma - Take it all with a pinch of salt my dear, especially the MIL observation :)

That is the one thing where we ARE in sync...to cover the rest we'll need more than one post!

2:49 PM  
Blogger Apy said...

lol.. nice post...

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps you should spend on some "grass", then you wouldn't need to worry about green any more - you'd be seeing them rainbow colours! :P


10:41 PM  
Blogger Aqua said...

as always...a throughly enjoyable post! we're not quite in the wisteria lane league but this front lawn/garden competition is quite strong in my layout. And i confess i'm the desperate one here. we were quite happy with your modest garden till our neighbours brought in a professional landscaper who left behind not just a greener lawn but waterfalls and a lily pond. hmmm since then i've been nagging P about getting some "professional" help ourselves :)

5:14 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

apy, ano - Welcome! & thanks. ano - Where did you think the laidback-ness came from?! :)

aqua - thanks and whoa, you have a problem! Waterfalls and a lily pond?! Good think MrG doesn't live where you live. Most of our neighbors have only swimming pools...at the back. So if things get worse, we can pretend we have one out back too...now just need to walk around to the front in a drippy swimsuit!

6:42 AM  
Blogger D.N.A. said...

"Alpha - we are still checking out landscapers. We haven't decided on one yet."


*Thou shalt not judge*

8:07 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

d.n.a - "landscaper" need not mean sweaty macho gardener...just like "nanny" need not mean cute girl in french-maid costume.

there's some fierce battles on here :)

9:01 AM  
Blogger D.N.A. said...

Nanny does not mean that? Such a tease! What about "housemaid"?

9:08 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

housemaid sounds more like a 60 yr old in punk fluffy slippers.

"Au pair" is what you're going for?

9:19 AM  
Blogger D.N.A. said...

What would that be? Like a nurse? Nurse costume is always good!

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


been there done that - and here is my solution (this is what i do anyways, you don't need to follow it). as long as you don't have a strong-armed homeowners association, just lie low, and sing the following to maharaja as a lullaby.

... and the green grass grows all around, all around
the green grass grows all around.

- s.b.

p.s.: i assume that "wisteria lane" has something to do with the desperate housewives, right? i've never watched the serial but vaguely remember having heard the phrase.

1:53 PM  
Blogger Ardra said...

Welcome Gabby to DSS!
do keep posting a thums up whenever u post here on DSS...

6:21 PM  
Blogger visithra said...

hehehhe lol thank god i have no neighbours in front - n my mom thinks the jungle look is beautiful ;p though im quite certain it has fun scratching us ;p

9:08 PM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

huh thank for for nonexistent neighbors.. LOL

6:15 AM  
Blogger Aqua said...

LOL at the swimsuit comment :)

11:09 PM  
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10:12 PM  

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