Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Feeling...

The weeks after the Maharaja was born were some of the most confusing of my life. The expected feelings of excitement, fatigue and exhilaration were all there and I was prepared for it. But what was somewhat disconcerting was the fact that I missed him. I missed having him inside me. When it used to be really and truly, the two of us. When the kicks and rolls were exclusively mine. As the weeks turned to months, I learned to share. He would gurgle to others, he would smile at everyone (Yes, literally, everyone – much to the amusement of the cashier at BabiesRUs or any random stranger on the street for that matter) and its okay. I can deal with that, I think.

This weekend my baby was introduced to solids. The way he has been watching us eat has made it quite evident that he is interested. With eager excitement, I spooned in the tiniest portion of rice cereal into his open, fish-like mouth, but he shoved it out using both his tongue and his arms, with Lilliputian-Herculean strength. Then he proceeded to spit out what little had made it in, with deliberation and patience. I felt a small, vaguely familiar, sense of relief.

You will invariably, lose your dependence on me, step by step...But let’s stretch this out as far as we can little fella! To live is to be slowly born, and you make me feel like I’ve only just begun.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Zoheb said...

Looks like Gabby is going to be one jealous mom!! It will be fun to watch little G getting married!! Gabby will be in tears :D

1:47 PM  
Blogger Zeppelin said...

baby steps eh Gabby ? :) So living out a part of Gullivers travels maybe ? ;)

cheers!
-arun

8:24 PM  
Blogger Ardra said...

oh, its been so long ago, and still I can relate to the feelings u've described so poignantly-

when they get weaned from mother's milk, its so painful- i still remember how my baby used to stop suckling and just gaze into my eyes stupefied- and he would break into this wondrous toothless smile- the most beautiful sight in the world- and in that single moment, I'd've experienced eternity in all its grandeur!
and slowly, when they start developing their own memories- until then they're an extension of us- then from that point onwards there'll always be a part of them that they'll never share with anybody...
but the memories will always remain ours forever- that part of which ironically they shall have no memory of!
This void is now ours forever to nourish and cherish...

and I wonder abt my mother...

lots of luv and hugs...
ardra

and u know, Indian ISP's have blocked blogspot...and I'm peeping thru a backdoor...

9:45 PM  
Blogger shub said...

mommyhood has taken your writing to an altogether new level Gabby (didn't think it possible)
Just "awwwwwwww"some stuff:)

11:20 PM  
Blogger Prerona said...

Hmmm. Read this and there was so much I wanted to say ... then while groping for the words realised dont have the energy. Wish you all the best. Yes they grow on to you, kids do, and not just your children, and it hurts when they dont need you anymore and start to peel away little by little ... v much. Take care love & happy mothering

1:45 AM  
Anonymous Ashok said...

The last line is very beautiful. As a father of a 2 year old myself, I can relate to that part if not the whole post.

6:57 AM  
Blogger Maltova said...

Sweet !

Mommy baby blogs always are, aren't they? Thankfully there was no internet when i was born for i know how much my mother would've wanted to write about me being such a bundle of pain with all the headache i gave her.

Ardra mommy,
im sure your kids remember every bit of their babytimes with you.

10:06 AM  
Blogger visithra said...

that was so sweet

6:50 PM  
Blogger KJ said...

aww....
cho chweeettt...

:)

KJ

3:07 AM  
Blogger Peg said...

Step by step, day by day and soon you will find they fly away
but as they turn with one last smile, you'll know your love will stretch that mile
And just as this child has grown to live, another child he soon shall give
and to you the reward will well be worth your days
as you look upon your grand babies gaze
Time is swift and waits not!

You are a very lucky mommy and your days will be the greatest milestones to you both!!!

Sail on!! :-0}

2:04 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

I can imagine the poor little maharajah when he starts school and when he gets his first girlfriend home :)

5:24 AM  
Blogger Apy said...

/*You will invariably, lose your dependence on me, step by step*/

How true!!
That was a cute post

10:44 PM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

ah now you are into the food fights.. yipeeee...

6:16 AM  

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