Thursday, May 12, 2005

Shaadi* Woes

Shaadi.com does some great business no doubt. Just look at all those happy faces on their website. They all met via Shaadi and they’re thanking it and urging you to try it and all. But let us not forget that Shaadi is a tool. A tool that might well work for you, but only if used right. Which means there isn’t much of a point lying on your profile, because that would be like lying to your partner even before you have met him or her. A very shaky start to any alliance that is to last a lifetime, wouldn’t you agree?

Our friends had a house guest for the weekend. She came along to hang with us all after dinner and was she was in one foul mood or what! See, she had come all the way from Florida to meet this man she had got in touch with through Shaadi. She was a smart, pretty girl, 5’10” in height. The guy was 5’10” too, ON SHAADI. She swore he couldn't have been an inch over 5’6” when she saw him in person though. Obviously, she was hopping mad. Now, what I don’t get is why lie about height? That too, up it by 4 inches? Come on. What was he thinking? The she would just gaze into his soulful eyes and forget all about her height requirements, the ones she had clearly stated in her profile? A little difficult huh, considering he would have to stand on his tippy toes for the gazing to even begin? And it’s not like lying about the dimensions of entities South of the Border...your HEIGHT is something she will notice right away you mutt! And that will piss her off, making it difficult for her to trust you on any of the other counts, the important ones. I realise this is not a new problem. Parents eager to not let a ‘good match’ slip away have knocked an inch or two off their too-tall daughter’s height since eons...maybe I’m sitting up and writing about it only now because now the guys are doing it to the girls. Or maybe it's a little more pathetic when it comes straight from the horse's mouth, and not from an over-zealous or anxious parent...

When people conceal important information, or lie about their ‘single’ status on these matrimonial sites, it’s a whole other issue. These are the dangerous lies. Some of these players are obviously downright cruel psychos whereas some might have their own sad, desperate reasons. I am not going there, I am mostly just wondering idly why one would want to make this already tedious process of scanning, picking, choosing, meeting the person-behind-the-profile process even more wrought with disappointment and tension than it has to be? Why go through the chore of first lying about trivial stuff like your height or weight, then fearing being found out and then finally being subjected to rejection? Don’t they all want the search to end sooner rather than later? Why not be forthright from the beginning, it might reduce your sample size, but that might just mean you could meet The One before you tire of the whole process and give up altogether...before you run out of all your advantage miles and vacation time and most importantly, your patience visiting the 5’10” girls....

* Shaadi.com is an Indian matrimonial website, hugely successful with the younger generations.

75 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Strangely that's the discussion we were having with our house guess, a shaadi.com user..good point you bring up.
Being 5'10", did she even expect to find Indian guys taller than her, that too in shaadi.com?
-alpha

9:22 AM  
Blogger Nikhil said...

came here through Sudipta's blog...

Pardon my profanity...I couldn't resist...

Can understand how a girl feels when she finds out that the guy's 'height'(ok...length projected onto the vertical plane)is actually 4 inches less that what it was mentioned to be!!!!

*shaadi.com is a great website:))

9:55 AM  
Blogger Rhyncus said...

Pal of mine, all 5'2" of him, got hitched to a woman, some 4'11". Through shaadi.com. Such a happy couple. Yup, size matters.
But this post reminds me of this old, old television serial called Mr.Yogi, where he goes to meet this tall woman who has been instructed strictly by her parents to remain seated during the entire meeting. I wonder why the height-lying chap in your post didn't think of that.

10:04 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

alpha - is your house guest 5'10" or more? hee hee, meet the gratis-extension of shaadi.com!! But come on, lots of tall Indian guys do like tall women (ask Pi or Mr.Gabby, NO don't say anything about my height here!), so I guess she can be hopeful...

ultimate quirk - what profanity should i pardon? sorry, i guess i'm too rough around the edges to notice much..:)...thanks for coming by!...

rhyncus - yeah, i have the happily shaadi-ed friends....but then i have several such house guests myself too...I LOVED Mr.Yogi..(I can even sing the title song for ya, if you want..)...see this girl walks tall and has no time to be a sitting duck, that was the problem...

10:15 AM  
Anonymous alpha said...

Mr.Yogi was such a riot. I reached celebrity status by meeting him - http://alpha.blogdrive.com/archive/74.html

10:36 AM  
Anonymous You-know-me said...

South of the Border, Heh heh heh

10:58 AM  
Blogger manan said...

just shows how insecure people are. but, i guess you have to realize its just human nature and the net. creating an account and potraying yourself as someone who you're not is almost too easy to do. this guy was completely dumb; but how about the zillion others who report their height and weight correctly - but go completely wrong on describing traits like their attitude to life? not necessarily because of exaggerating but just becuase they don't know themselves!

what does a statement like, "you know, i'm really a cool guy who's reasonably liberal in attitude but with restrictions", or "i'm a girl with a modern attitude toward life while respecting traditional values" MEAN? except maybe "look, i don't know what i am, so be ready to expect anything, including wild oscillations in behavior. i've warned you!"

11:23 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Alpha - Checked out your post, hee hee...so your mom is quite the giddy teenager when it comes to meeting movie/tv characters huh?!!

you-know-me - insightful comment!

Manan - Omigod, I so agree....people devote entire lifetimes to figuring out who they are, others, a lifetime of blogging about who they are!... how do you decribe yourself accurately in a line or two..!....Shaadi even has multiple choices to select from about how liberal/conservative your views are! ...I would shy away from anything that starts with a "I'm really a cool guy...."!!!! LOL, let HER decide whether you're cool or not! Jeez what happened to good old modesty, THAT which is REALLY COOL...I guess I strayed away from the point you were making but nevertheless it's all a part of the same bewilderment!

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Give the guy some slack, Gabby. He must have been sold a defective measuring tape :-)

South of the border - LOL. That is strongly, dont ask - wont tell area. Reminds me of my maths lecturer who would dictate fractions to us - "Now write, down below in the middle, x^3 + ... "

11:44 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Zoheb - Hai bhagwan! :D...How's your Math?...See, these defective measuring tapes need to be recalled, i guess they're in big circulation, almost EVERYONE on these sites seem to measure up 'right'....the poor honest ones are lost in the mail...literally!

11:55 AM  
Anonymous You-know-me-too said...

Guys might have similar complaints: all those "ravishing" pictures of women bear hardly any resemblance to the women when we go meet them. All that soft focus makes them look like models for Dove, a far cry from the reality.

11:59 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Shaadi.com! Hmphhh! It's all overrated! Multiple choice questions and scientif methods indeed! Nothing beats actual interaction for a couple of years with a coupla feet of space between the couple, most of (if not all) the time!
I thought that the old arranged marriage thingy was the worst of the scale, but online match making sites seem to be the new bottom! I'd gladly go for the older system, atleast then I will be interacting with someone who knows the other side, every step of the way!
I am male and even I can't stand TamMat and Shaadi, so totally agree with the lady's view point! But I see atleast a couple of people have mentioned the "South of the Border" comment. Where did Mexico come into a Shaadi.com discussion? Pls enlighten a ignorant seedha saadha gently-man

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Kya Gabby, whats 4 inches here and there on the long road of life ;-). I am sure, what he lacks in height he makes up in waist. I don't understand why girls go for bamboo figures. Watermelons should also get a chance :-) And no I wasn't the guy the girl landed up to meet.

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Anti, the tragedy of the desi woman is this - South of the border an American woman finds a Mexican, while a desi woman finds a Sri Lankan. And usually too late :-D

12:17 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

you-know-me-too - ( you-know-me sounded like he/she was saying something like "I am like this only" but you-know-me-too sounds like I'm supposed to know you! Do I? If I do please don't go proving it to me on this blog. thank you. )

Yes the soft focus pictures CAN be deceptive. But I have to say it still is their picture. if they start sending you Angelina Jolie's picture then you can sue. But not yet. Like the girl in my story can't do anything. He should at least offer to re-imburse her for her ticket I say. :)

Anti - Woo I touched a raw nerve it seems? I agree, of course. Coupla feet of space (even lesser actually) is nice and all, but what happens if you don't bump into Miss/Mr Perfect? Are the matrimonial websites that bad too? At least you can choose the "drink occasionally" option in the drop-down list on Shaadi, which the older method might not quite cover. Essentially they're all the same though...it's still an arranged marriage. Whether it's arranged by you or your parents...

Aur itna seedha mat bano :)

12:20 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

LOL @ Zoheb's comments...in full form today hahn? :)

Anti, South of the border means Mexico, like Zoheb explained it. Understood na?

12:22 PM  
Blogger VC said...

Maybe the guy wanted a not-so-smart girl - someone who cannot tell the diff bet 5'6" & 5'10" and this was his screening process.

12:31 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

vc - LOL! All these possibilities...it might be easier if he said "Wanted -dumb girl with parallax-type problems in eyesight, should not be able to guage heights etc."

12:47 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

* Reads Zoheb's comment.
(5 mins later...)
* still reading Zoheb's comment
(10 mins later...)
* still reading Zoheb's comment...
(15 mins later)
* gives up!

Was a whiz with geography while at school, so can figure out the Sri Lankan part, sorta, though I think ur geography might be screwed up, cos there is a body of water separating India from Sri Lanka which is called the Palk Straits. Irrelevant, nevertheless important.. Anyways, woh kya tha, usually too late? Kis ke liye? Breakfast... lunch.... ya dinner?
(*laughs uncomfortably)

12:50 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Anti - Are you kidding? You REALLY din't get teh South of teh Border line in my post? Or is it just Zoheb you are trying to unravel?

1:01 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Jokes apart, the question about not meeting the right one, does not arise, since the measure of "rightness" can never hit 100 percent on the scale. It's all in our perception of compatibility.
But it is still possible to do this scientifically - using a weighted list of expectations from each side. You shld be able to decide on what u are prepared to let go, in terms of expectations. I don't smoke and so would not want my partner to smoke either. I don't drink, any more than the single beer (cos I get a buzz with anything more!), but would not mind if my partner likes her martini shaken but not stirred as long as she does not do a "Gabby" under the influence of the spirits! That's a couple of items straight off my weighted list!
And while I'd would have liked to marry someone built (physically) like Aishwarya Rai, I'd rather be realistic and look for a mix of beauty and brains instead, with more emphasis on the latter. Hey, after all I humanely cannot use the Mexican entity all the time for the rest of my life! On the other hand, the use of the Canadian entity need not be curtailed at all! There, Gabby, mein uthna seedha saadha nahi hoon :p
But I do understand the female part of the issue, which in turn kinda defines how the guy acts, when his efforts start to border on desperation or when he thinks he HAS to conform to Indian society! Gabby, imagine what would happen if I choose the "occasional drinker" and the model TamBram dads look at it. I am gonna be single for the rest of my life, cos I don't get to explain on Shaadi.com that Smirnoff Ice is lemonade (mostly)! On the other hand, traditionally, I can explain all about Smirnoff Ice to the gal when i see her, cos the physical issues are all taken care of with the exchange of photographs way before we actually meet. So all we need to do when we meet is talk, cos we CANNOT BE shocked by physical appearances or the lack thereof!
Anyways, I think that my weighted list approach beats everything, if both the parties are honest enough to keep their hands off each other till they are sure of where they are heading with the relationship. Not that I am against whatever, but I like look at things subjectively without the shackles of a physical relationship. And, before someone decides that i am a prude, pls refer to the absence of the word "marriage" in the previous line. I just prefer to keep my hands to myself before I am sure that the gal won't cry rape!

1:20 PM  
Anonymous alpha said...

* Reads Anti's comment.
(5 mins later...)
* still reading Anti's comment
(10 mins later...)
* still reading Anti's comment...
(15 mins later)
* gives up!
*couldn't complete it

2:19 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Alpha: You don't need to complete it. That comment was mainly intended for the un-attached readers of Gabby's blog :p

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

question. i understand that you are trying to focus on the lying aspect of the whole thing.. so i want to ask.. did you wonder what made the guy lie? maybe it is the centuries of "guy has to be shorter than girl" concept imbibed into us indians.. [read alpha's very first comment] is it right? wrong? if we dont know, then is lying about it right or wrong? let us not get all moralistic here saying "lying is wrong. period". :)

question again. you say - "When people conceal important information" should it have been - "when people conceal obvious information".. cos why is height that important? and maybe it is important to you but not to me.. there are so many people who say they "read books".. but in fact they meant training manuals.. but you do not find it till later.. so is that ok? isnt it as bad as lying about height? isnt it in fact worse cos you did not find it out till later... i think it is all very subjective.

and also no matter how you decide to find "the one" it is always a market pitch.. sometimes you have to fudge figures to get what you wanted.. nothing wrong.. maybe the guy tried putting his real height on the website but since short height doesnt sell as fast he instead decided to bank on "let me lie and hope that she will actually like the real person inside the 5'6" facade that she sees"... apparently it did not work with her, but maybe one day some girl will be able to look over his height.. figuratively speaking. ;)

all I am saying is, 'anything is fair in love, war and shaadi.com'. Ask your friend not to get upset about it and feel 'cheated' etc.. and take it in the right 'spirit' [which i am sure you made sure] :))

4:44 PM  
Blogger FunnyCide said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:44 PM  
Anonymous HiredGun said...

Hey, "Truth in Advertising"? What are you hoping for? Scan the Sunday newspapers in India for a profusion of "wheatish" complexions. :)

Unfortunately, if you ask the guy in question he will glibly rationalize it by saying "Everyone does that." And, thus, in his mind, it is all a system in which 5'10" maps to 5'6" (and expecting a woman who says 5'10" to be also 5'6").

The only thing this young lady can do from next time is to state at the outset that she really is 5'10" when they start talking and make the guy cough up the truth before it begins.

The ideal solution will be eBay style feedback ratings. :)

4:47 PM  
Blogger FunnyCide said...

Hey Gabby,
Reading your post after a long time. It is sad, ainnit?

Girl, you have been writing quite a lot. No wonder you are tired by the end of the day ;)
-Funnycide

4:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

same anonymous from previous, please corrent first statement to "guy has to be taller than girl"

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

agree with hiredgun. if it is "important" to you, then YOU make sure you convey the message across. and also always expect Murphy's Laws to happen.

4:50 PM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Anon. What are you talking about man? If its OK to lie to your future life partner then every other ethical and moral behaviour can go for a toss. Kya right spirit. You expect that girl to fly around the whole planet and come back saying - "He lied but no probs, I am taking it in the right spirit". Reminds me of the Gujju marrying men. Meet girl, lie that you are single, have a honeymoon and then udanchhoo and expect that the girl takes it in the right spirit.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Khushee said...

People could lie about personality traits and what not and get away with it, but I don't know how that guy thought that he'd get away with lying about his height. It's one of the first things that you notice about a person when you see them.

Shaadi.com is a serious website, and I don't think it'll do people an good when they lie in their profiles. And you are right, it doesn't give a very good impression when someone sees that you've lied on your profile. If you can lie on there and how about in everyday life?

5:20 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Anonymous: The first thing that's important in a marriage is honesty. It ain't a problem if you are a "porn watching, lech after every gal who smiles at me" kinda guy. Seriously, it is ok, cos every guy I know (incl. me) has done it at one point or the other and every gal knows that too. Any intelligent gal that is. And for that matter, i know enf of gals to tell you that they lech equally after guys (and sometimes gals too :D). On the other hand, when u lie to a gal even before you convince her to begin a fresh life with you without any regard for her feelings, then you really can't expect her to fall for your other charms (if there are any). And if that gal decides to overlook the fact that you had claimed (in your email/chat session) to be "Me" while being "Mini-me", then I dunno if I shld feel sorry for her for being stupid or berate her for being dumb!
And I heard that Shaadi.com and TamMat scan throu every entry to weed out fake profiles (I read that somewhere!). If that's the case, why not ask limit photographs to just those ones that show from toe to head. Thats not exactly fool proof, but its better than the current state where ppl can say anything after submitting just a "chest-up" pic.
Another gripe that I have, after scanning thro listings on a desi newspaper that i picked up on Devon Street - whats with ppl claiming to be "Innocent Divorcee". That makes me laugh everytime I think about it!
Hired Gun: I don't think the gal will keep saying "I am really 5'10". I mean, ideally she shld not. I don't see the point behind equating this with advertising! This is not a job interview where u have every chance of succeeding based on a fudged resume. But I do agree with e-bay style feedback! Again, there exists a strong chance that mischevious elements might play games!

5:59 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Anon : "The guy has to shorter than the girl" is a theory one can reject or embrace. It's a personal choice. This girl asked for a guy taller than her. And he lied. And that is WRONG. Period. It's not a "give the public what it wants" ad for Pepsi or Coke ok? It's a RELATIONSHIP you're trying to build. See whether you read Tolstoy or TV manuals, you are the judge there when you describe yourself as a reader. But inches are not based on opinion, it's a freaking unit of measurement.

When I talked about people concealing important information I was obviously referring to things OTHER THAN HEIGHT. And that I was not going to get into. I don't personally consider height to be that important, but that's not what matters here, height was important to that girl, so he should not have lied.

Fudge your figures if you must, I will just continue to be shocked. But please don't try to pass it off as "fair"....that very attitude and centuries of twisted thinking which you began your comment with is what you are adhering to. How will it change?

7:34 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Ah, now that I have dealt with Anon, let me chat with the rest of you.

Hiredgun - I had issues with your statement too...but I see your comments were made in jest so here's a smiley :) for you! Read line about relationship is not an advertisment part in the above comment, just in case. LOL!

Funnycide - Looong time! I think I have to write about friends who are TOO BUSY verus friends who are TOO TIRED next time :)

Zoheb, Khushi, and of course Anti the Writer - I agree! It is nice and reassuring to see people who think like I do...well not technically "see" but you know what I mean..

Zoheb - Those types were the kind I was referring to too....I have heard of guys who have wives and travel to other cities in India during the weekends "meeting" other prospectives..by the time the girls find out, they are so hurt by the process that they swear off all matrimonials altogether..

Khushee - Yes the site itself does a good job...if you are into that sort of a thing, I think it does cater well. Now if only people ould play by the rules...

Anti - These sites SHOULD actually weed out the fakes! I guess they might check for claimed "singleness" and not heights and stuff though. AT least that'll be something. LOL @ MiniMe joke! And chest-up suggestions. AND "Innocent Divorcee" :)...You are on a roll mister! :) You made up for the other long comment with this one.

PS: Anti, yes women check out other women. We do a way better job than men somtimes.

7:52 PM  
Blogger thennavan said...

Gabby, while this incident may bring to focus white lies and even damned lies in those profiles (whether be it boy or girl, depending on their degree of desperation), there is also the other side to the picture. You give a real honest picture of yourself and they start off with that statement that I covered in my previous post "If it's too good to be true..." :-)

Come on gals out there. Give us Mahatma Gandhis also a break :-)

8:23 PM  
Blogger shub said...

c'mon gabby start off a matchmaking venture in Amreeka for Desis! :)

9:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

>>whether you read Tolstoy or TV manuals, you are the judge there when you describe yourself as a reader. But inches are not based on opinion, it's a freaking unit of measurement.

ROTFL!! boy, thats the lamest thing i have heard. can the guy use "I meant mars inches and not earth inches"??? so basically your point is any non-measurable attribute can be fudged. c'mon, are you always this hilarious!!

>>When I talked about people concealing important information I was obviously referring to things OTHER THAN HEIGHT. And that I was not going to get into.

i sincerely apologize for not being psychic enough to figure out the references to things not mentioned in the blog but actually going on in your mind. time to dust up that crystal ball of mine ;)

by the way, why such antipathy towards people with different opinions. doesnt it get boring if everybody just agreed with you? never mind.

10:52 PM  
Blogger AmitL said...

Hi,Gabby...I was,frankly speaking,quite amused reading about the height business. It brings the desperation of some people to mind,people who are so frustrated at not being able to find a match that they even go to the extent of relying about their height.Perhaps shaadi.com needs to insist on a 'certificate of originality'(Just like a medical certificate at a new job)alongwith each 'application'??

10:59 PM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Anon, yaar tu jaane de. For some people morals and ethics matter. For some others it doesn't. Happy now.

11:18 PM  
Blogger Rhyncus said...

I love the way the comments are going here. But then, marriage is always an issue of such high involvement and yeah, passion, no? :)
And alpha, read your mr.yogi post, funny someone actually did mention radha seth and that they were rooting for her. Where have all those readers gone now??

4:39 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Gabby: It happens sometimes with the worst of us ;) When u are on a roll, everything seems to be perfect. But when u are not, believe me, IT's BAD!
Anon: No one here is against you having opinion of any sort! As for boredom, were you arguing cos you thought u wanted to enliven things by objecting? Hmm I guess ur argument served its purpose! I think most of us are shocked hearing how you feel. And we don't even get to know your name. So I guess that must make every single gal who's reading ((not to many, i guess, given that Gabby and her chum Alpha seem to have sworn off single friends :p) this wary the next time they see a matrimonial ad! But to each his own! Cheers!
Thennavan: Let's just be honest and hope for the best. Cos at one point, after all the misses, a gal will hit on your "too good to be true" profile and get lucky. And then she would have seen everything and so she'd probably how to proceed without delay, i.e ask you the right questions. Since you have all the right answers without any delay (cos everything on the profile is true la), things will be smooth after that. Its all in the learning curve. Don't worry too much about the steepness or the lack thereof, as long as the ends are acheived with some sucess. But never lose track of the fact that the means are important too! Btw, I suggest that you shy away from putting up any of your geeky mainframe code type of poetry in your TamMat/Shaadhi profile. A couple of Kannadasan songs wont hurt, but pure Thennavan compositions shld be a no no. And if you have already done that, you should remove it NOW.

7:32 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

thennavan - continue to be Gandhi boy, somebody will come a-knocking! Listen to Anti too, he says something about your mainframe compositions :)

shub - i AM interested. I anyway do it at dinner parties and all kinds of obnoxious places, might as well open that bureau!!

Anon - mars inches? Ok I rest my case now. We are obviously from different planets here (planets used metamorphically here, don't post your picture to show us you look human. O wait a minute you don't even post your name, the picture after all those comments will REALLY require a spine, no way is THAT happening!) LOL!...O no antipathy, I totally expect your kind of comments...after all, there would have been no post if your kind did not exist out there! :)

Amit - Good idea!! I hope though that the honest ones outweigh these cases and people do get lucky...

Zoheb - Good, let's give this some closure..

rhyncus - Hee hee, it does seem like we have the passion in place...strong comments section this has shaped up to be!

Anti - If you want to write a funny book or something. Do it NOW. As observed in the past, we don't know when the flair will disappear...hurry! LOL!

7:57 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Gabby: Thanx! But I am not sure whether the world is ready for my kinda humor yet ;) I however have had the title of my book for a long time now! And no, I am not telling you anything more now!

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My god. What's all the fuss about? It's so obvious na, Anon is the guy this girl when to meet!! Just kidding!!!

Good one Gabby.

-Shobha

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

Anti whats wrong with claiming to be an "Innocent Divorcee". What do you want them to call themselves. Naughty divorcee :-P

8:13 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Zoheb: How about "Experienced Divorcee"?
At least that rings true and leaves no room for any doubt of any sort! ;)

9:21 AM  
Blogger gvenum said...

"Innocent Divorcee"...?? I wonder if the partner who he/she divorced would agree with that:)

9:24 AM  
Blogger thennavan said...

Anti:

Thanks for taking the time to write a lengthy suggestion piece :-)

My profile in both are ok (as far as I know). Nothing to intimidate a prospective girl. No geek code anywhere for sure :-) (I am no geek either to begin with).

I have the complete package - the enchilada :-) I think that's where my problem lies. Gold always glitters but people also have a "I can't aspire for it" notion and so I get to display myself in G.R.Thanga Maaligai but people think they can't afford me :-)

Gabby, the above was a response to you too :-)

10:32 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

zoheb,anti,gvenum - Maybe we will come across another profile (of the ex) stating "more innocent divorcee" :)..."Experienced"...hmmm...reminds me of Ross of "Friends" fame..wouldn't want to come across as too experienced in that, no??

10:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog is a RIOT! :D

-Peggy

10:55 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Oye Thennvan, the complete package - I hear ya...let me know when things start clicking! :)

Peggy - Thanks baby. Can I take that as a compliment? I just did!

10:59 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Thennavan: All in jest dude, no offense meant...:D

Gabby: Ross!! :))

gvenum: Thats what me and a friend wondered. She was the one who pointed out to me the presence of such profiles and told me to look for them and needless to say, there they were, the very next day when i was reading the mat section in some desi newspaper (for timepass, obvsly!) on a bus...

11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll just say this. IT IS A TEDIOUS PROCESS. There's already too much to figure out. I wish we would just trust the obvious stuff like height and weight.

I AM a shaadi.com user.

11:55 AM  
Blogger thennavan said...

Gabby, I guess I should put out an announcement in ChennaiCentral and Indibloggers when that happens but we shall cross the bridge when we come to it.

Anti, I never mistook your intentions. Actually I always appreciate the smallest of gestures and someone's taking time to dicuss a point of view put forth by another is in itself indicative of the care and interest :-)

12:23 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Anon - Hope the process turns out to be well worth it for you. Good luck! & thanks for coming by.

Anti, Thennavan - So all is well and brotherhood prevails huh? :) Good!

12:36 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Gabby: The spirit of the brotherhood shall always prevail. But aNTi, the way he is built mentally sometimes shoots his mouth off and then backs of trying to decide how everyone else took it, and this was one similar case! Now that Thennavan says he does not mind, he might just start regretting it soon :D ROTFL!

12:49 PM  
Blogger thennavan said...

Anti, you are still on the dock - don't forget it :-)

I will undock you on a case-by-case basis :-)

3:06 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Am I on the dock? *grin*

3:14 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

Thennavan: Good evening, Officer!

Gabby: You can't escape! I will take you down with me!

3:33 PM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Whew!! This has turned really hot, it seems! Maybe the 'right spirit' of looking at the profiles on Shaadi.com will be to take a look at my post here: http://sudiptachatterjee.blogspot.com/2005/04/matrimonial-ads-by-girls.html

Hee-hee, that should be the height of desparation!!

1:33 AM  
Blogger Rhyncus said...

Well, it may not make happy marriages, but atleast this post inspired alpha to blog about Karthik. :) I think it has served its purpose well.

5:10 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

sudipta - GAWD!!!Hee Hee

rhyncus - my posts in general serve no purpose, so if this one worked as a writer's block dissolving agent, then it's one of my most successful ones! LOL!

6:10 AM  
Blogger Rhyncus said...

Yeah, look where it got her! :)

9:41 AM  
Blogger phatichar said...

nice post gabby.:) And hey! mr. yogi was one of my all-time favs as well, the most hilarious line i could never forget - this one time when yogi walks upto a woman in the restaurant. 'hi, Y I yogi' and she goes 'that's your problem'. hahahaha...

great post

10:47 PM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

well i guess when you go through the net you have to be ready for such experiences.. be cautious and you need to go through a whole process of filtration...LOL.. by the way met my man through the net too by fluke.. LOL

11:16 PM  
Blogger anumita said...

Am confused now whose blog I m commenting on... and what I wanted to say... something about shaadi.com... i think... is this gabby's or anti's or...

1:54 AM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

well Shaadi.com does have a whole lot of crap out there ..divorcees filling their status as single so that they dont get filtered out n the like! But then I know of ppl who have actually found soulmates through this medium.. it does work for some.. ultimately all boils down to luck..

2:51 AM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

been here after long. . n caught up with ur previous posts too... well written as usual :)

2:53 AM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Phatichar - LOL. Yes I remember that one. :) Thanks!

Pallavi - Really? Well it seems to have worked out great for you! My girl needs to know this might work...but it's hard..

Anumita - Anti sometimes handles my PR...so feel free to direct anything to him if you want. LOL!

T Fairy - I agree. Luck is everything, almost. And thanks very much!!

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Curious said...

Shaadi.com SUCKS.

...Boy you write about all sorts of things..

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What percentage of people actually get married from Shaadi.com?
1 percent? 2?

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard 20 %!!!

3:02 PM  
Blogger The Guy Next Door said...

Zoheb said "Reminds me of the Gujju marrying men. Meet girl, lie that you are single, have a honeymoon and then udanchhoo and expect that the girl takes it in the right spirit. "

: o Never heard of this before. Just to re-assure all the pretty women on this blog and Shaadi.com - Gujju men are the most seedha of all ; )

Also, whatever people might say abt Shaadi.com , Its giving Indians everywhere an avenue to look for the "one", while before they just might had to let Dad and Mom decide. I agree its not the best way and cannot compare to falling in love with your neighbour/classmate/colleague/friend but not everyone is lucky to fall in love or for their love to be reciprocated. If used the right way, it can open doors which werent there before.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous zorinena said...

No offense, i have been in shaadi for sometime now. Just been tired of the idiosyncracies women subject us to. I am actually planning to have a forum exclusively for all the women on the site I have dealt with. I have found i about 1% of them as being really honest, rest of them are talking to maybe 15 guys at a moment.. and then even forget the names of the people they are talking to. Just given up on the girls on the site. I have never lied, never exaggerated, maybe thats what I am doing wrong ..
Soon ill post the url to the forum with all my reviews and personal recommendations of the girls.
Zorinena

11:54 AM  
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10:34 PM  

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