Thursday, December 22, 2005

Of Mothers and Daughters...& the hundreds of layers of palpable tension in-between.

I need a tee that says the following

“Yes, I’m pregnant.
Yes, we know what it is. It’s a boy.
I’m due in March
NO, it’s not OK to rub my belly."

So people who have more to add can jump directly to other questions and those who don’t can please slink away. The questions that follow mostly revolve around how nervous or excited I am and if I’ll have some help around the time. The first one is easy to answer. Yes, I’m aware there will be pain, and blood and goriness, and pain. But a situation where half a dozen doctors stand around my bedside and throw their hands up in unison and go “Boy I’ve never seen this before” and walk away leaving the bun in the oven for eternity is unlikely. So when we’re ready, we’ll be ready and hook or crook, we’ll have the baby out. The more sedated and drugged I am during the process, the better. But either way, we’ll deal. This one is not really giving me sleepless nights.

So what is? The help I’ll have during the time of course. The Mom arrives soon. Now all the Moms who read this blog will go “Oh perfect! You’re so lucky” and the daughters in ya’ll might well say the same thing but with a sardonic grin accompanying it. Because we know don’t we? I firmly believe my Mom is unique in her mixture of fierce independence, high, oh-so-high expectations of me, general exactness, demand for things to be just-so and this and that. But I’m aware this is just me being all-about-me. The universe demands of Moms to be a bit of a pain. It helps balance the unquestioning love and unconditional patience that they are made up of. Along with the deftness of the hand that knows just how to fix that sambar as well as that bruised knee.

Over the years, we have agreed on one thing - that we are different. The acceptance of the difference is a whole other challenge and each fancies that we are letting the other go easy. After all, she’s blood :) I think we would have ample bonding opportunity if I had a sibling or two who I-don’t-know...did drugs and ruined his/her life? Or maybe gambled away the family fortune..? Or in the least broke a rule or two bigger than choosing his/her own spouse. But nah, that wasn’t to happen now, was it? So here I am stuck with 80 % of the total shock-factor that we as a family can muster, thereby limiting discussions where I can click my tongue, sigh and shake my head while Mother and Daughter stir soups and break bread together as we concoct ways to improve the poor guinea pig’s life.

It’s anyways hardest for the youngest. Because you were the one with the easiest life. The one who grew up in the lap of luxury compared to the older ones...they who used to take the bus, who didn’t get to eat foreign chocolates and who in general walked uphill to school both ways are a difficult crowd to live up to. Now add a sibling of the same sex who has never broken a rule in the book except maybe the one about dicing the potatoes in the unorthodox way (boiling them first) and you have no room for wiggle whatsoever. All things considered, it’s best to find cousins who are indulging in scandalous behavior and recap their lives, install DISH so we have the Sun/Gemini/Teja areas covered and of course, have a baby. These should do it. She'll be soon on her way here, my Mom, bless her! And I’m thinking we’re gonna have a wonderful time, my Mom and I.

And if, by some weird chance, there is some unpleasantness, perspective will soon take care of that. Did I tell you who visits soon after her? The in-laws of course. :)


Blogger anantha said...

Okie.. first comment here.. Do I get a prize? Anyways, how many of those questions in the top of this post are true? Have to run for a meeting. Will come back and read the post, laterz :) taata...

12:23 PM  
Anonymous alpha said...

anti, you really do seem like you believe there is a prize for the first comment.

Gabs, What?! No allowing me to rub belly? All this while I was getting sleepless nights over how your belly would feel. Good Luck with mom...and if you are lucky you might be fed milk with saffron everynight.

12:40 PM  
Blogger GratisGab said...

Anti - What? Those are not questions old man, those are answers. Please finish meeting and read PROPERLY - as my Mom would put it.

Alpha - You having sleepless nights for this? Ah such a sweet and simple girl, with such sweet and small desires. Come, you can rub. For you I will make exceptions.

Milk/saffron? For that we need Mr.Gabby's grandmother. The rest of them won't deliver. Maybe one or two on that side will make it, but will have it themselves :)

1:39 PM  
Blogger anantha said...

*almost goes "awwww" and *ALMOST* finds a solitary tear off the side of his right.. wait.. no.. left.. no.. right.. oh well! its all imagination anyways. Lets make it left eye.
So ya, You have a bun cooking somwhere. Don't look at me that way. You used the the term yourself :) But, you know what. You will hear "Boy, I've never seen this before", not from the doctors, but Mr.Gabby. :D
And regarding your answers, does he get to rub your belly or what? Or are you getting an overkill of it from him? :D
Mothers or Grandmother, the ilk are all alike. Own thoughts, own actions, no recognition of what you just told them. And sad part is, they turn out to be right sometimes and leave you looking sheepish! But, on a completely unrelated note, I should tell you what mine (mom, that is) told me on a special call from desh, minutes after I had ended one that had been half hour long in the middle of a game of pool!

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Zoheb said...

NO, it’s not OK to rub my belly

Damn!!! All my planning for weeks has been destroyed.

2:01 PM  
Blogger phatichar said...

Your best post yet. Take care. :)

7:40 PM  
Blogger shub said...

missed ya!!! :(
take care lady! *hugs*

8:02 PM  
Blogger Swathi said...

u n my best frend r preggy n so also is my sis - itz the season i guess!! or is it like 'itz in the air'... :))

yaa Moms r the best - even bickering with her is much better than the bickering with the in-laws..

8:49 PM  
Blogger visithra said...

awww and lol god bless ya - do enjoy the "attention"

oh but can I stare? and give u 100 watt bulb smile? i do that to all pregie moms ;) i promise i dont rub bellies ;)

9:48 PM  
Blogger manuscrypts said...

gee, that quite a tee!! :)

11:45 PM  
Anonymous Ash said...


Good luck, have fun !

Has she stiched li'l booties and clothes for the li'l gabster ?

12:46 AM  
Blogger Prerona said...

i know what you mean. i have a same sex sibling 10 yrs my junior. by the time she came to her going out on town years, my parents had forgotten everything not bad i had ever done. plus i left home for college at 18 and did all my wild things away from home ... so she suffers the comparism bug a lot ...

3:13 AM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Hey Gratisgab! Welcome back!! And glad to see that you are doing good.

But what was that 80% shock factor? What is that other 20% reserved for?

3:21 AM  
Anonymous pallavi said...

hey cool man.. nice to hear from.. hope you are having a great holiday... and have fun... seasons greeting and all the good wishes.. :) HUGZZZZZZZZZZ

and yeah congrats again... yipeeeeeeee !!!

4:45 AM  
Blogger anumita said...

i believe now the belly is big enough to hold all that on the front of the tee!!!

5:02 AM  
Blogger WA said...

Hee Hee I am trying my best not to laugh, but I shall send loads of sympathies instead. I know what a pain mothers can be, my one is :) I ought to add that I do love her though, in case she reads this.

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Ashok said...

Well Gabby, the comparison bug can't be all that bad..."Because you were the one with the easiest life" after all :-)

We older siblings are still living the harder life, I tell you.

8:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if the 80% shock-factor has something to do with the previous post? Or is there more to share Gratis?

10:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny.....and so true. My mom and i love each other to death but cannot spend a day together without fighting!

10:12 AM  
Blogger Rhyncus said...

The only thing I latched on to was those potatoes, thinking 'yaay, now I do potatoes the orthodox way, peeling them and dicing them instead of the cowardly route of boiling them. I've joined the club even Gabby's sister isn't part of'. Sigh @perspective.

12:17 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

welcome back!!!

i was almost relieved when the DR told me that i had to have a Csection done... i dunno if i cud have taken the pains...

Merry Christmas and a happy new year

take care


3:40 AM  
Blogger Rash said... why do I get a sense of deja vu. The in law saga is continuing at the moment in my case.

5:43 AM  
Blogger tilotamma said...

I must have the simplest, most non-demanding mother in the world.

Many daughters talk about their moms in the same vein as you but I have never had an issue with her since my teens.

anyways enjoy......

8:44 AM  
Blogger tilotamma said...

I am waiting for the inlaws episode .will have plenty to day on that one

11:22 AM  
Blogger Ardra said...

its always kinda reassuring to know that other ladies too have a bit of a difficult time with mothers- and well, in spite of all the big and small skirmishes moms are indispensable...
and in spite of the million times one has said to oneself that one would never mouth the same words to one's own offspring- History does repeat ....sigh...

11:58 PM  
Blogger There's something about Sherry... said...


came thru KKJ's blog. will visit again.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

3:49 AM  
Blogger Ashish Gupta said...

take care Gabby.

wishing u loads of luck, wishes and happiness in the endeavour :)

7:10 PM  
Blogger Arunima said...

Wish you a happy new year and have a great time with your mom and the in-laws too.

4:05 AM  
Anonymous n said...

Can totally understand :-)

My mother and I end every discussion almost with either yells and screams or sulks that last a day in the least!

7:14 AM  
Blogger The optimist from utopia said...

Stumbled on ur blog from divya's.. You've got a nice blog.
Hey btw did u decide on da name?? Is it going to be some typical, long name? ;))

11:57 PM  
Blogger VC said...

I don't suppose you've been to this site -

So, when is the surprise baby-shower? More important, when are you going to write about it?

12:08 PM  
Blogger visithra said...

Have a wonderful and safe new year ;)

9:32 PM  
Blogger Peg said...


no advice, no jokes, no sordid stories...just motherhood...


12:34 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

Dear Gabby, Mr. Gabby & Gabby Jr,

wishing you all a very happy new year



2:32 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

Gabby: Have a wonderful, hectic new year :)

11:00 AM  
Blogger Parna said...

Happy New Year Gabby. this year should one eventful one for you :)

1:54 AM  
Blogger Twilight Fairy said...

March? So you are gonna get an Aries son in all probability!

Happy new year, new life, new baby, new joys and all that re.. take care.

4:03 AM  
Anonymous alpha said...

happy new does it feel not being able to drink this new year eve?! he ha ha!

12:56 PM  
Blogger manuscrypts said...

a happy new year to you :)

11:14 PM  
Blogger phatichar said...

Wish you, Mr. Gabby and junior gabby a wonderful new year!! :)

9:20 PM  
Blogger Casablanca said...

Hehehehehehe... I dont know whether to say good luck, or enjoy :)

8:19 PM  
Blogger Zeppelin said...

hey Gabby,
first time here...came via Anti's blog.

must say you write very well... didnt know where to comment, so putting down a general comment here...

Happy New Year ! and Good Luck ! :)

4:45 PM  
Blogger Peg said...

Happy New Year, indeed!! :-0}

6:54 AM  
Blogger anantha said...

*knock knock...

3:23 PM  
Blogger Ashish Gupta said...

Hello, is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me!!

How ya doing Gabby? oh and how is 'it' all coming ;;) *batting eyes*
We long to hear you!

7:02 AM  
Blogger Khushee said...

Just wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!

12:30 AM  
Anonymous Ashok said...

Reload, reload. What's on your mind Gratis?

8:22 AM  
Blogger ?! said...

Season's greetings n all that.


Add to the Tee : Yes, I'm alright. Will post when a bit free

6:32 AM  
Blogger AmitL said...

Hi,Gabby,neat description of what's going on.Good luck to u.:)And,just waiting for the future 'lil blogger',err,lil guy to come into this world...TC.

7:45 PM  
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10:16 PM  

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